5 Reasons I’m Done People Pleasing in 2016
Yes, I can help. Yes, I can attend the millionth birthday party. Yes, I can take on a new project. Yes, yes …
yes. From early on we are taught to get along with others, help others, be selfless. I believe all of these are great lessons and very important. But as an adult, especially once we have kids, we get pulled in so many different directions. I can’t remember the last weekend we had to just stay home with my little family. Our calendar is full of obligations, appointments, parties, etc. It’s almost exhausting to even look at.
I wouldn’t consider myself an extreme people pleaser, but I am good at multi tasking and sometimes over extend myself thinking I can do it all. So in 2016, I am resolving to say no. Here’s why:
I have a laundry list of my own responsibilities
When you overload your calendar, your own responsibilities fall by the way side. I’ll go weeks with a super ridiculous amount of obligations, and next thing I know, my work, my house and my life are just an utter mess. I tend to be a little OCD about order in my life and if I stay on top of it, doing a little each day, it’s SO much more manageable. And who knew two little people could generate so much extra laundry and mess?!
I need to be true to myself
If I’m overextended, eventually I get stressed. And when I get stressed, I’m not myself. I am less tolerant, less pleasant and have to “fake it til I make it.” I want everyone in my life to get the very best version of me.
I need to find balance
My husband works long hours and often two weekends out of each month. So when he’s home, he wants to just be home. I on the other hand, am a work from home/stay at home mom. So when the weekend comes, I want to be on the go. Which can exhaust my husband, who can be an introvert after a long week. I am going to focus on prioritizing invites and obligations, choosing ones that only best serve me and my family. Sometimes its ok to say no.
I deserve to be happy
It’s a simple but profound thing. My reiki specialist said it and it was like a lightbulb went off. My own happiness hasn’t been a priority for a long time and I deserve it, dammit. If it doesn’t bring me happiness, I’m not taking it on.
I’m a better wife and mother
As mothers, we naturally put ourselves on the back burner. Everyone else’s priorities come first and we forget number one. In the last few weeks, I have been focusing on taking care of my health – physically, mentally and spiritually. I lost sight of this recently and as 2016 rolls in, I am picking it back up.