Not So Fetch: My Review of Mean Girls (the Musical)
Yes. You read that right. Mean Girls 2024 is a MUSICAL. I had not seen much about the new movie only that a few familiar faces would be in it (I won’t spoil that now but warning: there are spoiler alerts down below). None of the interviews or previews I saw gave any inkling that this would be a musical. Even looking back at the trailers, it was not clear. I guess the music note in the “A” of the title was a clue. Regardless, I give this movie 5 Kalteen bars out of 10.
When I think of a sequel, I think of a new storyline, new characters to get to know, and different quotes … but not for this one. Same plot. Same characters. Even the same quotes. Nothing too original! If you are going to reuse iconic quotes, why not use the best ones? “Boo, you whore!” “Raise your hands if you have been personally victimized by Regina George.” We never got to formally “Meet the other plastics: Karen and Gretchen.” and “Oh my God! Danny DeVito, I love your work!” … and on and on.
In my view, the one and only Regina George is Rachael McAdams. Prove me wrong. Renee Rapp was a great “mean girl” but it should have been a new story. I’m sure people will come after me for saying that, but there are some originals that you cannot remake. The BIG plus about Regina in the movie was that she was an average built woman. Not Hollywood skinny. She had some curves and “boob skin” that we all have but that you don’t see anymore with most celebrities.
Karen’s character was way too over the top. Yes her character is meant to be very dumb, ditzy and risqué, but this Karen in 2024 was on a whole other level. She almost seemed stoned the whole time or like frozen / sleep walking. It was overdone. She had no depth at all and I felt like Amanda Siegfried gave her character a little bit of something to love. Karen in Mean Girls the Musical was all boobs and no brains, but popular. Not a great message for the young teens out there.
Gretchen Weiners was the best portrayal in the movie. Bebe Wood did a great job in my opinion of being Gretchen but also slightly making her into a better version. Her remake of quotes was on point. Her outfits were on point. Her imitation was spot on. But she was even more loveable.
I liked who they cast as Cady Heron. Of course, no one can beat out the OG, Lindsey Lohan (you will get to see her in this movie, but you may be disappointed as I was for her cameo). Angourie Rice really made the character original. She was not trying too hard to be Lindsey. She was sweet, pretty, loveable, and less “hateable” towards the ending. Her voice is gorgeous as well.
Damien and Janis were probably the best part of the whole movie. While they were portraying the originals, they made the roles they played more original. Their comedic timing, their singing, and their friendship was everything. I may actually like them more than the originals from the 2004 movie. I won’t spoil their new quotes. Those may be the most exciting thing to see.
Busy Philips was actually a cool mom. I absolutely adored Mrs. George (Amy Poehler) in the first one, but she, of course, was meant to be a bit more awkward and annoying. I actually thought Busy was cool, gorgeous, and not fake. She could have been a bit more over the top, and a bit more busty if you know what I mean. That was one of the best parts of the original when she hugged Cady as she met her.
I was also weirded out by some of the background actors when they would freeze or turn into animals. Recall the jungle movements in the first one. They were odd but very short. Not like this. This was a little overdone. The animalistic scenes were way longer than they should have been.
Quick rattle off of other confusing scenarios: Where was Cady’s dad? Why wasn’t Aaron dumb? Mrs. Norbury is married to the principal?
Enough about the characters. Let’s discuss the music: The soundtrack is actually really good. The songs were catchy. The singers are all extremely talented and amazing. Maybe if I saw this on Broadway I’d be impressed and love it, but seeing it in the theatre I expected something different.
So, there you have it. My raw, real, and recent review of the new Mean Girls, in theatres now. If you have seen it, I would love to know your Kalteen Bar Rating.
My Kalteen Bar Rating: “5 for your Glen Coco!”