Help! I can’t get anything done!
I need help. Let me lay it out here: I don’t know what happens to my days, but I just can’t seem to get organized. I feel overwhelmed most of the time. What am I doing wrong? I don’t stop and am always on my feet, yet have a to-do list as long as my arm.
Here is the picture.
I have two daughters. My oldest turned two years old in December, and my youngest is four months old. I nurse my youngest. She eats ALL.THE.TIME. She’s nursing right now. I am typing with one hand and this post is very (very!) late for review. Back to my life. So yes, she nurses 12 times a day. She won’t sleep in her bed during the day, but will from around 10 pm until 7 am and is usually awake four times a night. For the past two weeks though, she’s been up most of the night and will only sleep in my arms. I am torn between letting her get the sleep she needs or trying to accomplish chores around the house. She feels terrible when she doesn’t sleep; I can see it. The nights are draining though, and I am lucky if I get four hours of sleep. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. My body aches all the time.
My youngest is taking all my time …
She won’t take a bottle or a pacifier. I tried four brands of pacifier, and two brands of bottles, and I gave up. So, for comfort, she’s on the breast. To fall asleep, back on the breast. She won’t go in a carrier for more than 20 minutes. She hates the car seat or the stroller. I feel so restricted! I nurse because it is the right thing to do for her; I produce enough milk; it doesn’t hurt, and she loves it. She’s technically the quintessential nurser. The dream of any lactation consultant. I stay at home … If I don’t nurse, who will? But … I can’t go anywhere without her or I have to carefully time it. Every time she cries, my husband asks “Is she hungry? Tired? Sleepy?” All these questions have the same answer: “I’ll take her and will nurse her.” I love nursing, but it doesn’t mean that I wish I could take a break every now and then.
My oldest takes all my energy …
My oldest is two. She needs lots of attention and has tons of energy to use every day (like any toddler in the end). She stays home with me, although we do attend a weekly class of French and music. I don’t believe in TV, so that’s out of the window. Don’t even try to mention it. She naps 45 minutes a day at most. She still needs help to fall asleep (I have to be in the room). I wish I could synchronize her nap with my youngest’s.
So, what do I get done?
I don’t work but I do cook all our meals, fold lots of laundry, and help out with my husband’s job. The girls and I take daily walks around the park, and we are out and about most of the week. We do art and spend the rest of our days playing, going to City Park, the zoo, or the farmer’s market.
The time paradox: short days and long weeks. So much done and yet, always more to do.
So why can’t I put together our photo albums? File papers? Go to the gym? Plan our next trip? I am on time for everything, but I barely make it. I just wonder if other moms get that feeling of doing, doing, doing … yet not getting anything done. I have a dry-erase board in the kitchen with a menu, the weekly calendar with activities, make grocery lists, plan ahead to save as much time as possible … yet, I long to have a hobby, time for the occasional date with my husband, or simply time with friends rather than texts and Facebook conversations. Is that too much?