The College Admission Process is Upon Us
And we thought choosing a high school was hard.
Earlier this year I wrote a review of a popular book about college admissions. Now that we are knee-deep in college conversations, I am glad I can go back to my own advice that there are thousands of colleges and universities in this country (and more beyond!), and that in the end, she will go somewhere and get a great education.
However, it can be hard to keep that perspective all the time. In the spirit of sharing information — not advice — here are some things I’ve learned so far.
They Change Their Mind as Often as They Change Their Underwear
Last fall, my daughter was certain she wanted to go to college in a big, East Coast city. Though she has taken dance since she was two years old, she did not want to “do” dance in college. She had nixed schools affiliated with a church.
Everything has changed. She’s more interested in smaller cities and suburban locations. She wants to minor in dance. And, she recently said, “This school has a basilica on campus!” Suddenly, “big time sports” has become a draw.
This is perfectly normal. Last fall she hadn’t thought about college at all. We toured a couple colleges. She spends some free time looking at websites and I even caught her reading our Fiske’s Guide recently. She’s homing in on the type of experience she wants to have. But, as we look at schools this summer, I fully expect these opinions will change again. I just try to ride the wave and stay quiet.
Stress, Worry and Anxiety – the Main Emotions of this Period
She is surrounded by kids who — in her mind — have things all figured out. They know a lot about colleges, while she feels like she knows little. They have been prepped for the ACT and/or SAT out the wazoo, while she worries about how she’ll do. If someone she believes is smarter than her says they’re considering a school, she thinks that this school must be out of reach for her.
I just think there’s no way around the anxiety this process creates. All we can do is help her manage the stress, even if that means funding a fro-yo habit.
Logistics and Planning
My social media is filled with ads for college counselors, test prep programs, AI programs for essay-writing, coaches for kids and parents about college admissions, financial planners for college, and more. It seems that anyone who has ever selected anyone for anything has decided to become a consultant. Buyer beware.
Maybe I’ll regret this, but I’m hoping the logistics are manageable without all that. I’ve made a spreadsheet that we can all edit. I started with my own knowledge of schools, but I also used ChatGPT to give me some ideas. It’s got columns for all the things that currently matter to her. It seems to be helping her eliminate schools and growing her interest in others.
Here’s what I’ve learned: juniors can begin now by opening a Common App account, using an email to which they will have access after high school (if your kid doesn’t have a Gmail-like account, now is a good time to open one; don’t let them create an address they’ll regret, like “Ilikebigbutts@gmail” or “pinkponyprincess@yahoo”).
They can begin to fill in the basic information about their school and family, as this will roll over this summer when they officially become seniors. They should wait to complete the entire application until after Aug 1 because the COVID-19 question is being replaced. The main essay prompts have been released for next year.
The Common App has a variety of useful tools that can help:
- College Search tool where they can filter schools by size, location and more
- Detailed to-do list, with suggested deadlines
- Application Guide that covers all the basics of how to apply to college
- Essay Prompts and resources to help write a compelling essay
- Activities List where students list everything they’ve ever done
- FAQs and more
Please Don’t Ask!
If you have a high school junior or senior in your life, please figure out something else to ask about than, “So, where are you going to college?” My daughter is already sick of hearing this question. We’re trying to think of joke answers, like “I’m going to join the circus.” Or, “I’m putting all my eggs in the Harvard basket.”
We want her to spend as much of her time in the “now” – getting excited about prom, preparing for the remaining dance competitions, and spending time with friends. Most advice I’ve seen encourages juniors to spend their summer taking or retaking entrance exams (if they already took them in Spring), visiting schools, and writing their Common App essay.
While she will undoubtedly do some of this, we also want her to have some fun. It’s the last summer of high school! She shouldn’t be obsessing about the future all the time. We’re going to travel, spend time with family, and do a lot of nothing — just like every summer. Don’t let this be all-consuming – for mom or for the kid.
