I am an only child. While being an only child has come with a lot of perks, it also was pretty boring growing up. While I was able to get a lot of things most families with more than one child were not able to get, it was also very lonely being on my own. As an adult, I have learned to love being by myself and cherishing the quiet. My mother had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with me and one miscarriage after me. We like to tease that I broke the mold, or the mold was hard to put together for me that God was only able to make one. : insert angel halo:
When I was pregnant, I did not want to have one child. I wanted maybe two or three kids so they would have someone in times of loneliness or when they needed somebody. I didn’t know what it was like having a sibling and having the love and support, so I didn’t really know any different. As my son started to grow, I realized that he was going to be a hard child. He was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of six along with a few learning disabilities. I, unfortunately, had a very unsupportive husband that did not help at all. I was raising my son on my own and it was very hard. At that moment, I knew my son was going to be my one and done. We constantly got asked when we were going to have another one, and I would just laugh and go about my business.
Having children is a personal choice, whether you want one, two, ten, or none. There are lots of pluses to having a big family and there are also lots of pluses to having a small one. Each family makes it work for them. Now that I am in my mid 30’s and my son is a tween, it would be so hard for me to go back and have an infant. While baby fever is real, I am happy with my decision to have one child that I can focus all my attention on.
Do you have a big family and decided not to have any children or just one? Do you have a small family and decided to have a large one with your significant other? I agree it takes a village in any form to have and raise a family, whether it be close friends or family, most of us have our tribe to help us navigate through parenthood.