Only Child :: It Takes a Tribe

I am an only child. While being an only child has come with a lot of perks, it also was pretty boring growing up. While I was able to get a lot of things most families with more than one child were not able to get, it was also very lonely being on my own. As an adult, I have learned to love being by myself and cherishing the quiet. My mother had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with me and one miscarriage after me. We like to tease that I broke the mold, or the mold was hard to put together for me that God was only able to make one. : insert angel halo:

My decision

When I was pregnant, I did not want to have one child. I wanted maybe two or three kids so they would have someone in times of loneliness or when they needed somebody. I didn’t know what it was like having a sibling and having the love and support, so I didn’t really know any different. As my son started to grow, I realized that he was going to be a hard child. He was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of six along with a few learning disabilities. I, unfortunately, had a very unsupportive husband that did not help at all. I was raising my son on my own and it was very hard. At that moment, I knew my son was going to be my one and done. We constantly got asked when we were going to have another one, and I would just laugh and go about my business.

Personal Choice

Having children is a personal choice, whether you want one, two, ten, or none. There are lots of pluses to having a big family and there are also lots of pluses to having a small one. Each family makes it work for them. Now that I am in my mid 30’s and my son is a tween, it would be so hard for me to go back and have an infant. While baby fever is real, I am happy with my decision to have one child that I can focus all my attention on.

Do you have a big family and decided not to have any children or just one? Do you have a small family and decided to have a large one with your significant other? I agree it takes a village in any form to have and raise a family, whether it be close friends or family, most of us have our tribe to help us navigate through parenthood.

Jeanne DeLasalle
Jeanne is a single mom to a wonderful son who loves nothing more than her family, friends, and her Saints. Born and raised in New Orleans, she enjoys everything this city has to offer. In her spare time you can catch her napping or binge watching movies on her couch. On Sunday's in the fall, she is in the Superdome and goes into a state of depression when football season is over.


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