Have You Taught Your Children About Glimmers?

Have You Taught Your Children About Glimmers?

Most of us know about triggers. A trigger is when we have a strong emotional reaction to something. This often happens when we are reminded of an old trauma or a loss in our life, such as if we hear a song that reminds us of a person that we lost.

Have you heard of glimmers? Deb Dana coined the term glimmers. They are micro-moments that could pass you by if you don’t stop to notice them. Dana argues that the nervous system has a huge impact on our mental health, “Our nervous system is where all of our experience begins, it’s where our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, body responses and glimmers emerge.”

Sun glimmering through the trees

Glimmers And The Nervous System

While triggers activate our flight or fight system, glimmers do the opposite. Glimmers activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the system that prepares our bodies for rest and digest. Glimmers are the things in our lives that help us to feel warm, safe, and connected. Glimmers are grounding.

Woman enjoy a cup of coffee.

A glimmer can be nature, a joyful moment, gratitude, a song, your favorite show, an act of kindness, a smile from a stranger, soft pajamas, a scent. Glimmers can remind us of progress on our healing journey. In a time of grief or pain, they can remind us that joy still exists. In a moment of stress, angst or overwhelm, they can remind us of peace, ease and calm.

Woman running at sunset in nature.

How This Can Help Our Children

We need to teach our children to look for glimmers, as they can help them to build resilience. According to Liz Kelly, psychotherapist, “We might think our day is all good or all bad depending on a single event, but that is rarely the case. Life is typically a mix of ups and downs, and we can become more resilient by searching for the glimmers when we feel down.” Our worlds are fast paced and overwhelming. We can help ourselves and our kids to find moments that bring joy and safety. These moments can help to regulate their nervous systems and help them to feel at ease.

Kelley Lockhart-Delaune
Kelley Lockhart Delaune was born and raised In Metairie, Lousiana. She is married to her husband and has two boys, Roman (10) and Remy (8). Kelley received her Bachelor's degree in Psychology from LSU and her Masters in Social Work from Tulane in 2002. Kelley is a psychotherapist in private practice. She owns Modern Therapy and Wellness, a group practice. Her and her team focus on helping others to heal themselves and their relationships. You can find her mental health and wellness blog at: https://moderntherapyandwellness.com/. In her spare time, you can find her working out, drinking coffee, going to the beach, cursing too much, staying up too late and writing.


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