Have You Taught Your Children About Glimmers?
Most of us know about triggers. A trigger is when we have a strong emotional reaction to something. This often happens when we are reminded of an old trauma or a loss in our life, such as if we hear a song that reminds us of a person that we lost.
Have you heard of glimmers? Deb Dana coined the term glimmers. They are micro-moments that could pass you by if you don’t stop to notice them. Dana argues that the nervous system has a huge impact on our mental health, “Our nervous system is where all of our experience begins, it’s where our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, body responses and glimmers emerge.”
Glimmers And The Nervous System
While triggers activate our flight or fight system, glimmers do the opposite. Glimmers activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the system that prepares our bodies for rest and digest. Glimmers are the things in our lives that help us to feel warm, safe, and connected. Glimmers are grounding.
A glimmer can be nature, a joyful moment, gratitude, a song, your favorite show, an act of kindness, a smile from a stranger, soft pajamas, a scent. Glimmers can remind us of progress on our healing journey. In a time of grief or pain, they can remind us that joy still exists. In a moment of stress, angst or overwhelm, they can remind us of peace, ease and calm.
How This Can Help Our Children
We need to teach our children to look for glimmers, as they can help them to build resilience. According to Liz Kelly, psychotherapist, “We might think our day is all good or all bad depending on a single event, but that is rarely the case. Life is typically a mix of ups and downs, and we can become more resilient by searching for the glimmers when we feel down.” Our worlds are fast paced and overwhelming. We can help ourselves and our kids to find moments that bring joy and safety. These moments can help to regulate their nervous systems and help them to feel at ease.