Dearest Friend, I Miss You and I’m Sorry

Dearest friend,

We used to be inseparable. We used to know everything that was happening in each other’s lives. We used to talk for hours on the phone and plan weekend adventures, and we used to dream about our grown up lives…

What if I become a famous singer? What if you become a Untitled design-5renowned author and travel the world? What will our husbands look like? Will we have children?

Our future was limitless, open to any possibility that our young imaginations could conjure up. The only thing we knew with certainty though was that we would do whatever it was together.

I remember a time when I didn’t know how to be me without you by my side. You were my person – the person to whom I gave the title “best friend” – the person that despite the fact that we weren’t born as sisters, we chose to be. I confided in you my deepest insecurities, and you kept my secrets just as I kept yours. We spent countless nights up at all hours laughing until our cheeks hurt, gossiping about boys, and eating junk food. We survived every milestone of growing up together – first kisses, bad breakups, birthday celebrations, and even a few petty fights. When everything else seemed to be falling apart around me, you were constant. You helped me overcome every heart-ache and celebrate every happy moment all by just being there.

Those girls are all grown up now, and while our lives may not have turned out as glamorous as we once envisioned, something that I never thought would happen has – we’ve drifted. There wasn’t an argument or a falling out. There wasn’t a moment when I realized that our daily conversations became weekly, then monthly, then hardly at all, though somewhere between navigating our careers, finding the men we would eventually marry, and motherhood, our relationship dissolved through the cracks of the busy days and the sleepless nights. Our worlds were once the same, but at some point we started to move in opposite directions. Instead of calling each other best friend, the term of endearment evolved into dearest friend, because although you aren’t actively present in my life anymore, you are still so dear to my heart.    

I miss you, and I’m sorry.

I know that neither of us deserves the blame, but I can’t help but feel like I let one of the most important people in my life down. Friendships take work, and I should have worked harder. I should have done so many things to let you know how important you are to me, but instead I let my hectic life and my busy schedule get in the way.

I know you’re still there anytime I need you. I know that you’re just a phone call away, but after so much time has passed it seems almost … awkward. Can we go back to the place of being best friends? Can we pick up where we left off and move on from the months that have passed without so much of a “how are you?” Will it even be the same if somehow we do?    

I don’t know what the future holds for us. Relationships often have peaks and valleys, and I hope that this is just one of those valleys that we need to overcome in order to get on with our lifetime friendship.  Whatever our lives have in store, please know that I will always love you, and I will be eternally grateful for all that you have brought to my life.   

With love,

Your oldest and dearest friend


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