Do You Want To Be Friends?

We’re Friends, Best Friends

Remember being a little kid and seeing someone in a pink shirt, hey you like pink, I like pink, let’s be best friends. Easy. As we get older things change, we tend to stick close to the friends we have always had. Some of my best friends have been in my life longer than they haven’t. We know each other almost more than we know ourselves; we have been through marriages, divorces, babies being born, losing parents. These girls are my family.

New Chapter, New Friends

Finding friendships in adulthood is a unique experience. We are all so busy in our lives that making time the time to nurture friendships isn’t always there, let alone making and building new friendships. As adults, the majority of our new friends come from people we meet at work, neighbors, people we meet through our current friends. Moving as an adult and trying to form a friend group can be difficult. Our most recent move was the hardest yet, we knew one person (our realtor) when we moved. I started work thinking it would be easy to form new connections; however, that wasn’t the case. It seemed like everyone I worked with had been friends forever and for some it was true. They had known each other since high school and some before that, so being the new girl at work was very similar to being the new girl at school–it was hard. I joined New Orleans Mom partly to make friends and through this group, I found a group of women, who are all in the thick of motherhood, who check on you when things are hard, who are looking for someone who can relate to them. I found friends. My husband made friends on the golf course and their partners became my friends. It took time, but I have formed friendships, they’re different than my other friendships, but they are good friendships and I value them so much.

Be That Friend

Sending your child off to school, you remind them: you’re kind, you’re smart, you’re fun, people will want to be your friend. As adults, we have this internal conversation and confidence-building with ourselves when entering a new chapter in our lives. I was never the person who had trouble making friends and I never cared if someone didn’t like me, I knew I was a good friend. If someone didn’t want to be my friend, it was their loss, not mine, but as an adult it has become harder to remind myself of this, to not take it personally if someone doesn’t want to be my friend. I know I am a good friend. Once you have my friendship, I will always have your back, I will be there when you are at your best and when you are at your worst, when you have things to celebrate and when you have things to mourn. Friendships are full of ups and downs, we may go for periods when life is just busy and we don’t talk or see each other as often as we hope, but when we do, we are able to pick up right where we left off. Remember that deep down we are all still that child on the playground looking for that other person that looks like someone we could be friends with, reach out to the new person at work, to the new parent at school, to the new neighbor, because you never know where you’ll find your next friend.

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Nikki was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest, she has lived in Seattle and Portland. After visiting New Orleans, she fell in love with the city, and she and her husband decided to take a chance and move from the PNW to NOLA. Nikki has two kids, Amaya (15) and Tyson (12), she and her husband Dave have been married for 16 years, they live on the Northshore. Nikki works full time as a NICU nurse. Nikki and her family have fully embraced the culture of New Orleans, while they live on the Northshore, they play in New Orleans as often as they can. As a member of New Orleans Mom, she hopes to bring the perspective of the veteran mom and life with big kids and teenagers.

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