So This is 40?! {Or Am I Having A Mid-Life Crisis}

So This is 40?! {Or Am I Having A Mid-Life Crisis}

Remember when “Over the Hill” was a big deal when people hit 40 years old? The gag gifts were canes, walkers and diapers? I know that people do not say that anymore and 40 is the new 30, but there is something that happens when you hit your 40s. Am I feeling a mid-life crisis coming on? You go to school for 20+ years and then you get a job and build a family (or build a family and get a job), that’s a solid plan, a popular plan. Life is coming at you 60 miles an hour and you hustle your booty off going to work, working out, doing homework with your kids, carting the kids off to extracurricular activities, planning vacations and birthday parties (I loathe kid birthday parties even for my own kids) and then you sit back and wonder, “Why? What is the actual point of this?” This is all for your kids to grow up and follow the same cycle?

Mental Changes

This Existential Crisis, or asking what is the meaning of life, hit me about a year ago. Seriously, I would sit in traffic and think to myself, “What is the point of all of this?” Does anyone else in their forties ask these questions? I asked my hair stylist, my friend in her 40s, and she agreed that she has asked herself the same questions within the last year or two (thank goodness I am not alone).

In my teens, I was dying for independence and to know when I would meet my husband. Would I be able to have children? Will I get into the professional school of my choice?

In my twenties, when will I graduate from college? What will I do after college? Will I find the man of my dreams? Which neighborhood will I live in? Is this the guy that I’m going to marry (not my husband)?

In my thirties, will my son be healthy? Will I be able to have more than one child? Do I want to work this hard for the rest of my life? Do I want to see my babies more than I am at work?

In my forties, WHY AM I DOING ALL OF THIS? I have enough stuff, too much in fact that I need to stop thinking of and watching organization shows and get to organizing and donating or selling things that I have not used in years. The kids will go to college or learn a trade and then move out and have families of their own. Mike and I will get older and then after we retire, we’ll have a few good years and then boom … done.

I’m a spiritual person, thank goodness, because I believe in a higher power but even still this thing called life is tough, LIFE IS HARD. Anyone who says that life is easy is not doing it right or maybe I need to find them and ask them their secrets.

Physical Changes

My knees do not hurt, but if I sneeze too hard, I’m worried that I will “throw my back out.” Need help moving? I’ll donate the beer or help pay for a mover because I can not risk hurting myself at this age, seriously! Stairs or elevator? Umm, elevator please (I’m clumsier than ever).

Along with the other physical ailments, all of the female changes are happening. Am I perimenopausal? What in the heck is that weird electrical charge through my body? Are all of the weird aches and pains related to menopause? Are we still doing Bioidentical hormones? Is that still a thing? Where’s Suzanne Somers when you need her?

If you are going through mental or physical changes in your forties, you are not alone. There are so many things that “we’re not supposed to talk about” that happen, and I am here to let you know that we need to talk about them because they are coming whether we are ready or not. I have always looked at change as a good thing and I’m not going to stop now. All of the above are parts of living in your forties. I would call it a crisis if a friend passed away in his/her forties due to the mental challenges, but most of us are still living through these forties AND many people are living past their 80s so it’s technically not mid-life.

This new season of life is leading up to Mike and I living our best lives when our kids have their own families. Vacationing, eating at non-kid friendly restaurants (later than 7:00pm), enjoying our house by ourselves (in the buff if we so choose) and watching our grandkids one night every weekend are some things that we are looking forward to in our later years. This life is a series of questioning what’s going to happen and I can not wait until I can look back at my life and see that I gave my family my everything and that they can put on my gravestone, “A Life Well Lived.” Ralph Emerson Quote

Kathy Magri
Kathy is a Metairie native who lives in River Ridge with her husband, Mike, her children, Finn and Nina, and her 3 pups and a cat, Rex, Beau, Hans & Toula. She enjoys double dating with friends on Friday or Saturday nights and brunching with her girlfriends. A lover of all people (particularly babies and children), she is usually volunteering in various organizations and supporting her children in their extracurricular activities. You may catch her reading about World War II or listening to an assortment of music. An avid traveler, she can be found in her parents’ homeland, San Pedro, Belize, enjoying time with family, snorkeling, riding golf carts around town and eating the best food in the world.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here