I Have to Admit :: I Misjudged Sorority Life
We were just getting used to the fact that our daughter applied to an out of state college, was accepted, and earned a scholarship to attend, when she told me that she wanted to “Rush.”
“Let’s not rush things dear, we are having a hard enough time with you moving away; let’s enjoy the summer and it will be here before you know it.” Obviously, I was never a part of Greek Life and am not familiar with the lingo, but she quickly explained that she wanted to “rush,” referring to the process of going through Sorority Recruitment. I knew nothing about this … nothing at all. I only knew of the standard things I’ve heard throughout my life, and it wasn’t intrigued in the slightest. But as always, this girl had done her research and was absolutely sure this was something she wanted to try. She was going to a big school, known for their intense sorority recruitment process, and I was baffled at the fact that she wanted to get involved in something so unfamiliar. However, we agreed to entertain the idea. We hated to take it off the table completely when we knew nothing about it, so we all began doing our due diligence of researching and learning everything we could about the process, the cost, the benefits, the expectations ….
Before I knew it, we were fully engaged in searching for “Pref” dresses, athletic outfits, comfortable heels, “rush bags,” portable fans, Tide pens, dry shampoo, and all the things. Some of it I understood what it would be used for, and some of it, I just pretended to understand. Nevertheless, I surrendered to my daughter’s enjoyment and excitement of this process, and I reluctantly supported her decision to try something completely new, yet very intimidating.
Rush Week
The time came to drop her off at college, a week early, so she could participate in the ten day recruitment process. The drop off was brutal. Here’s my little baby that I have been a part of every single second of her life, up until this point. My heart was moving away to spread her wings and put all her motivation and hard-earned academic accolades to good use. Not only was she entering a new world of college life, living away and on her own, but she was also full force going into this college experience with the determination to give it 100%, get involved and enjoy every minute. And this all started with “Rush Week.”
After we left, the devastation set in. For the first time, I could not help her with this. I could not guide her; I didn’t even know enough about it to try to assist. I just had to sit back, wait for the calls, the pictures, and the summaries of her days. She went into this process completely BLIND. She knew nothing about any sorority, she knew no one there, she had no biased opinion about any house, any girl, anything at all. I was scared, I had anxiety, and I didn’t sleep for 10 days. She on the other hand …
Bid Day
This girl went through sorority recruitment in the absolute best way possible, with no expectations. She learned about each chapter, their community service, their philanthropy events, their leadership roles, and the general values of the sisters. She went through the process of choosing her favorites, finding out where she matched (who also liked what she could bring to the table), participated in dozens of interviews, watched numerous dances, and authentically discovered a place she felt could be her home away from home. The big day arrived – BID DAY (and Mom’s invited=YES!!!), and she along with thousands of other girls, find out their fate, and literally “RUSH” home to their new houses with their new friends eagerly waiting for them.
This experience was just the beginning. It was a mixture between Mardi Gras and Disney World: exciting, fun, wild, and crowded. At this point, I was starting to feel very happy about this experience. I was beginning to “buy into” the whole thing because I could see how much effort goes into this, and I could clearly see the emotions of the girls and how much being a part of this meant to everyone involved. I slowly started to realize that these girls, starting their new life in college, are all seeking the same thing. They all have the same desire: they want and need a support system in their new life. They are looking for the people that can keep them mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy in their new home; they are looking for their chosen family. I get it now. I understand the process, and I understand the “rush.”
She Found Her People
She has now successfully completed her first semester at college, all the while being a sorority sister. She has found her people within the sorority to share her college life with. She attends meetings, philanthropy events, swaps, date parties, book clubs, and bible studies. She immediately connected with sisters in all her classes, has people to study with, people to eat with, and people to borrow things from. She eats three home cooked meals a day in a beautiful home, has a nice quiet place to study, and is invited and included in things daily. She had a “Big Sis” who looks out for her and is a mentor for college and sorority life, as well as a “Grand Big Sis,” who also has her back in every way.
School Remains Her Top Priority
One big thing that concerned me about this new endeavor when she first started was, would she be able to keep up with the other aspects of college? She is there to get a degree after all, will she be able to excel in classes, be involved in clubs within her major, have friendships that are not sorority based? And the answer to all these questions is … YES! The sorority has been a phenomenal addition to her experience, but it has not been all-consuming. School remains her top priority, being involved in roles within her major have been attainable, and her roommates (who are in different sororities or none at all) are the family she goes home to every night and these friendships are just as precious and significant to her overall wellness and happiness.
I can honestly say that I misjudged this sorority thing. I listened to the rumors and naysayers, and didn’t have a great opinion about it. But with a full semester behind us, experiencing it firsthand, I want other moms who are entering the college world to know that after you get through the shock of it all, after you learn what “OOTD” means, it’s actually a very beneficial wonderful experience.
As with anything in life, there is good and bad with every situation, and there will always be obstacles she will need to overcome. But I feel confident that she has the people in her life to carry her through; her family back at home (a phone call or short drive away), her forever friends, her roommates, and her chosen SISTERS!
