The 5 Stages of Leaving the House With Kids
I remember the days of leaving my house with just my purse and a smile. Simpler times. A literal get up and go action. Now? Leaving the house can sometimes feel like you are preparing for a three-day expedition into the wilderness, even though you are just running to the grocery store. Still, there is a long list of items, most of which children may argue are non-negotiable, for such an outing. Snacks, obviously. Water bottles, a change of clothes, stuffed animals, backup snacks, five books and the most obnoxious toy.
And even when I think we are ready to walk out the door, suddenly someone cannot find a shoe, needs to use the bathroom, open a snack because they are so hungry, or decides they cannot leave the house without a picture of the dog because we will miss him while we are gone.
Over the years, I have realized that leaving the house with kids actually follows a somewhat predictable pattern. So predictable, that I have identified it into five distinct stages. If you have ever stood at your front door carrying seven bags while negotiating with a toddler about why pants are required in public, this one is for you!
Stage 1: Confidence
We are only running to the grocery. We will only be an hour. In this stage, we lie to ourselves in an attempt to keep things simple and easy. We do not stay here long, but for some reason we do always start here.
Stage 2: Gathering Supplies
As soon as we start to think about what we need to bring along with us, that confidence starts to fade. If I don’t pack this, someone will definitely need it. The bag turns into bags and you could feed a small army with the amount of snacks you pack.
Stage 3: Chaos
Who is crying and why do you only have one shoe on? The little bit of confidence that lingered from Stage 1 is now completely gone. You thought you were about to walk out the door. Wrong! Your kids have destroyed the living room while you were packing and one of them has changed into their halloween costume from two years ago.
Stage 4: Negotiation
My oldest is a boy and I have never had any issues with him fighting me on what to wear. However, my friends with girls have explained that it is a “pick your battle” situation when it comes to attire. My daughter is only a year old, so I cannot wait for those memories! At this stage, even if you are not negotiating on clothing, you will not be above bribes to get every one in the car in the next five minutes. If we leave now, we will have time to stop for a treat.
State 5: Acceptance
We made it to the van. Nobody is currently crying. Hit the gas before someone has to potty again. You have finally surrendered to the reality that perfection is no longer the goal. Movement is. If you had somewhere to be by a certain time, you will likely be late.
And just like that, you are on your way! Sure, you probably left your grocery list on the counter, someone’s water bottle is empty, and there is a good chance you will need to turn around. But, the important thing is that you made it. Leaving the house with kids is not about perfection, it is about perseverance. What started as a quick errand can easily turn into a test of patience, problem-solving, and negotiation skills worthy of a seasoned diplomat.
So, the next time you are juggling bags, searching for a missing shoe, and wondering why it takes 45 minutes to leave the house, remember this: we have all been there!
Happy travels, fellow parents.
