Harrison Butker: The Hard Truth About Accepting Your Lane And Staying In It

Harrison Butker: The Hard Truth About Accepting Your Lane And Staying In It

“I never envisioned myself, not wanted, to have this sort of a platform, but God has given it to me, so I have no choice but to embrace it and preach more hard truths about accepting your lane and staying in it.” –Harrsion Butker, Benedictine College commencement address, May 11, 2024.

Dear Harrison,

I’m going to be honest: I had no idea who you were until this week. A quick Google search and I learned you are, in fact, quite the impressive kicker — one of the most accurate in NFL history. You’re in that weird old Gen Z/Young Millennial age gap, you’re on the same team as Travis Kelce, and you’re Catholic. You spoke kindly of Taylor Swift in a recent interview. Based on these facts, I should like you.

But you see, the only reason I know about you at all is because of this so-called commencement speech you gave a few days ago. I say “so-called” because after reading the transcript and listening to you speak, it really is more of a lecture concerning your personal convictions. And is where I lost interest in who you are, and more so began to wonder why you were invited to speak on anything at all.

I understand the context of this speech — you, a Catholic, giving a speech to graduates of a Catholic college, means there will be mentions of topics not typically heard at a secular graduation. Fair enough. However, a commencement speech is meant to inspire graduates — but it took you five pages to even address them.

You spent five whole pages discussing how the current priests of the Catholic Church are misleading their flocks, how President Biden isn’t a good Catholic (judgey, much?), complain that “the world around us says we should keep our beliefs to ourselves whenever they go against the tyranny of  diversity, equity, and inclusion,” and refer to THE Taylor Swift as your “teammate’s girlfriend.”

This is where you start weaving in and out of traffic, my dude. Because let’s remember: you’re a football player. So, as someone who holds a J.D./C.L., a B.A. in Creative Writing, practices law and researches for a living, and is a Swiftie, I’ll take the wheel from here (and no, I’m not Jesus).

Let’s get the easy one out the way: her name is Taylor Swift.

That’s it. That’s all for lesson number one, because her name speaks volumes alone. But you knew that already — that’s why you made the deliberate choice not to call her by her name, isn’t it? Don’t worry; it’s hard for any man to measure up next to Taylor. You’ll get used to it!

Moving on. I’m not sure how diversity, equity, and inclusion are tyrannical, considering the definition of tyranny is “oppressive power; an oppressive, harsh, or unjust act,” while the definition of equity is “justice according to natural law or right,” according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Inclusion means “the act or practice of including and accommodating people who have historically been excluded (as because of their race, gender, sexuality, or ability).” Diversity means “the condition of having or being composed of differing elements; especially: the inclusion of people of different races.” The dictionary is free, by the way. 

Different races of marginalized people coming together in the name of justice according to natural law? Bless your heart, how unjust! How harsh! How OPPRESSIVE!

It reminds me of this one verse from the New Testament, Galations 3:28, to be specific: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  Man, that tyranny, it’s everywhere these days — even the Bible!

On about page four of your lecture, you state all of this “make[s] me reflect on staying in my lane” and that “praying and fasting … will do more for the Church than me complaining about her leaders.” But you didn’t let that deter you, did you, ya little go-getter!

Bravely, you carried on, taking a shot at the LGTBQIA+ community next: “Not the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride…” Ma’am, did you ask a single member of that community which definition of the word “pride” they have chosen as their slogan, or did you assume it was the “deadly sin sort?” (also, I hope you don’t mind, I’m taking one out of your playbook and assuming your pronouns, since they ~don’t matter~ anyway).

Unrelated: did you see the Kansas City Chiefs’ Pride Collection? So cute. Thank God none of those sales go toward your $3.9 million base salary, otherwise you might have to stand up for your convictions in real time and give up your 1% status, am I right?

Ah, but then, for a third time, you state: “being locked in with your vocation and staying in your lane is going to be the surest way for you find true happiness and peace in this life.” Do you ever take your own advice or…

No, no of course you don’t. Kiss goodbye any prior sense of peace and happiness, because you veered entirely out of your lane and collided head-on with one lane you don’t want to be in: female rage. Did I mention I’m a woman?

“For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”

Last I checked, I didn’t need to work and study for several years in order to get married or pregnant. Doubt me? Ask your physicist mom.

Also, please enlighten us on the diabolical lies we women have fallen for, but you, you man who kicks balls so good he makes millions, have not. Do you have sources? References? Were you in on these lies and now you’ve come to save us with “the truth?” Did God send you a vision? (No really, as a Catholic, I am invested in this one).

But no, you didn’t elaborate or provide details, because history has proven all NFL players always have women’s best interests at heart, so we can take your word for it.

“I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I’m on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.”

Isabelle sounds like an incredible woman and mother. Not only is she the homemaker, caretaker, and primary educator of your children, but she also “ensures [you] never let football or [your] business become a distraction from that of a husband and father,” because Lord knows that’s just too much for one man to handle!

You even mention how her “dream of having a career might not have come true,” but she has zero regrets on her decisions. She really does it all, doesn’t she? She sounds intelligent, nurturing, and loving. She must be excellent at time management, cooking, meal-planning, cleaning, organizing, decorating, calendar keeping, nursing babies, teaching, problem solving, crisis management, event planning, and negotiation all while keeping your interest in her and maintaining a sense of self.

So I must ask … what do you bring to the table?

Because you soldier on, next addressing the male graduates by telling them society has sold them the lie that “men are not necessary in the home.” I agree, it is a lie that men aren’t needed in the home. But, dear Harrison, let’s use some critical thinking skills here and think about what you just proudly proclaimed: Isabelle’s got it covered. You get to go kick a ball a couple times a game and make $3.9 million a year because she is a homemaker. Again, what do you bring to the table?

Your paycheck doesn’t count — you’ve already stated this absurd salary wouldn’t be possible without your wife’s work and sacrifice. We know what value Isabelle brings to your life. What do you bring to hers?

Also, are you going to offer the men in the room any financial help in establishing a home in which they can successfully financially support an entire family on their own? In this economy? Not everyone can kick balls the way you do, Butt-kicker.

And to say Isabelle’s life “truly started” when she “began living her vocation as a wife and a mother” is to say her life had little to no value, little to no meaning before she married you. From one Catholic to another, we both know that isn’t true. Her life had meaning and her life began before she was formed in the womb: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you…” Jeremiah 1:5.

Homemakers, stay-at-home-moms, work-from-home-moms, working moms, future moms, mothers-in-law, grieving moms, women who can’t be moms and women who don’t ever want to be called “mom” all carry intrinsic value in their humanness — not in their marital status or ability reproduce and keep house.

In your pitiful attempt to pit women against each other, rest assured we are turning our faces toward yours in anger instead. You do not speak for us. You do not know what is best for us. You play sports, we carry on the human race. We are not the same.

We women fight for the right to choose our own destinies, no matter how vastly different mine may look from hers, or hers from mine. If Isabelle chooses to be a homemaker of her own volition, then we, her sisters, will fight for her and her choice every single day. If one day, she changes her mind and would like to pursue motherhood and the dreams she once had, we will be in her army.

Chances are, the day you gave this bizarre speech, there were graduating women present who will never marry and/or have children. They, too, can look behind them and find us, fists in the air, cheering them on in their pursuits. Chances are, there were mothers graduating that day too, exhausted and proud of themselves. But you were there to remind them of their true place — back home, supporting a man and his dreams.

So next time you want to discuss your views on womanhood, maybe don’t. But if you must, a graduation ceremony isn’t the time nor the place. You took those graduating women’s accomplishments and cast them aside as if they were nothing — because we, and our successes, are only worthy of a man’s acknowledgment when we tie ourselves to you, right?

Here’s a hard truth: while our faith teaches that woman came from man in Genesis, from then on and until the Second Coming, men will always come from women.

Stay in your lane, bruh. Accept it.

Zero thanks and coldest regards,

–A Catholic Woman with a Doctorate, Three Daughters, and TTPD On Repeat