I am a woman of color.
The last week in our world has been the most terrifying that it has ever been for me. Over the last year of my life, I have felt that racial injustice has plagued it as recurring theme. It is not a feeling that I welcome. I have dealt with it within my own family, employers, and so-called friends.
In past few days, I have watched the death of an unarmed, non-violent black man. I have seen a white woman weaponize her tears and fear while calling the police on a black man, the tweets inciting violence from our nation’s leader, and peaceful protesters run over in the streets. I have been appalled at the gall of white people boldly expressing their racist views in public forums and then try to retract them when faced with facts.
I do not want to say that I have not been affected by these things in the past. I believe that after the events that I have experienced first-hand and seeing these injustices has created a level outrage that I have never felt before. I am tired, y’all. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. In addition to being tired, I am so scared.
Scared that this is the beginning of something bigger than we have ever had in our history as a country. Scared that beyond the usual strange looks my husband and I get (he is white), that we will be physically assaulted in the streets. Scared that my biracial daughter and myself are not safe to leave our home. Scared for the other members of my family that live in cities that have had violent protests.
I have cried many times in my husband’s arms this week. Unfortunately, if you are not a person of color, it is extremely hard to understand these fears. In my head, the fear almost feels irrational because no one knows what will happen, but it is legitimate at the same time.
My husband has listened while I have vented. We have discussed the events. We have made contingency plans.
I want to say that I see and appreciate all our allies. I see you educating yourselves and others. I see you speaking out. I see you protesting. I see you making the efforts to teach your littles. I see you and I thank you.
Peace & Love,
A Scared Woman of Color