Let’s give a shout out to my childless friends, this goes out to both empty-nesters and the currently childless. Mom friends are core and essential to my world, as my children are core and essential to my world. Early in my divorce, I found myself without my children and no one in my existing Mom friend world to spend my time with. It is not to say that my Mom friends were not supportive, but when you have young children they occupy most of your time. I found myself with half of my evenings and entire weekends without children and began to organically form new friendships outside my Mom Friends.
When I divorced, I faced this (and of many lol) existential crisis: If I am not a Mother every waking moment, then who am I?
Developing new friendships reintroduced to me to my life before children and reminded me of my value outside of that sole identity.
When you put two Moms in a room together, the conversation will likely center around your children. This is wonderful and supportive, encouraging the “children raised by a village” experience. When you spend time with your friends without children, the conversation can certainly include my children, but it often expands to other topics unrelated to Soccer Tots and Sleepovers. We discuss books, events, self-identity, careers… When the conversation ends, I feel full and even more whole as a person. My world perspective continues to expand.
Childless friends also offer really fantastic views on Motherhood, particularly my solo co-parenting lifestyle. They frankly never project their own marital woes and consequent harsh judgment.
Childless friends do not have a dog in this fight.
They marvel at my children’s craft projects, find school programs wildly adorable, and never grow tired of adorable picture sharing because they are not actively burned out with their own children.
I love my children every breath I take, I am a Mother whether they are at school, their Father’s, or in my lap! Engaging in close relationships with these women and men, we are now having entire discussions focused on elements that have nothing to do with parenting. This adds depth to my worldview and fills my cup.