There was time a when I didn’t know if I wanted children. I never felt like I had the mothering gene and I really enjoyed my D.I.N.K. (dual income no kids) marriage. My husband expressed when we were engaged that he wanted kids, and over the years, I warmed up to the idea. After we were married for about four years, I started to imagine our life with kids. What they would look like, who they would act like, where they would attend school. We didn’t share this with many people though, because the incessant questions of when we were planning a family were exhausting. You can imagine everyone’s surprise when we announced I was pregnant with our first child after 6 years of marriage.
And then there were three
My first pregnancy was a breeze (yes, you can hate me for saying that). I loved every minute of it, relished the moments and prepared for our expanding family. The birth was also an easy one, welcoming our son Jude August Vicknair into the world about an hour after arriving at the hospital. The early days, however, were not so easy. I struggled with nursing, depression, transitioning back to work, you name it. The lack of sleep railroaded me, and there were days I would just walk around the block and cry. Fast forward three and a half years, and I am SO glad we made that little human being. He is energetic, vibrant, imaginative – a perfect blend of us. Of course, there are days when he tests my patience and I use play dough and movies to steal a moment of peace. But I could not imagine it any other way. In fact, I’ve almost forgotten what life was like before him.
Time for a sibling
As an only child who talked to the dog a lot, I knew I wanted Jude to have a sibling. In some ways, I decided on a second child mostly for Jude. Not that I didn’t want another, but I was downright terrified. I took a leap of faith that I could handle it all, watching one of my best friends manage her two kids with grace and a full time job. And you know, a funny thing happened: I could handle it all. My pregnancy and delivery with Elijah did not go as planned like with Jude, but the jump from one to two kids was actually manageable. Elijah is also an easier baby and proving to have his father’s easygoing disposition. He is also just as magical as Jude and seeing them together, loving each other, is just so awesome. Both boys now sleep all night (most of the time) and I am figuring out how to
gracefully do it all.
My cousin commented the other day how I planned my life and even my house around only two kids. I never really noticed; it seems we were just so set on that number that everything we did just naturally panned out that way. Funny how life works. But random people keep asking me if I am going to try for a girl. Not my family or close friends, but acquaintances. And it’s not “do you want more kids?” which I think is an acceptable question. It’s “so, when are you going to try for a girl?” I said this before in my Top 5 things not to say to a new mom post :: we are so blessed to have two healthy boys, why would you assume that I have this burning desire to have a girl? I love being a boy mom. Sure, there are days when I will miss being pregnant or miss cuddling a baby, but I am 100 percent happy with two children, my two miracles. I am not cut out to handle more than that, nor do I want to. God bless those of you who do because that looks tough. Man to man defense is my preference and that’s okay. And mom guilt aside, I am okay just being okay.
Besides, my house is only set up for two children. So there, I can’t have any more than that.