Unpopular Opinion: Your Thong at the Family Pool

Thong swim suits have been the trend the past few summers, and based on a couple of my recent experiences, it doesn’t look like that will be changing any time soon. And I’m fine with it.

We belong to a local swimming pool and encountered some women in thong bikinis recently. I was with my husband and 9- and 7-year-old boys. A woman near me in the pool remarked to me that she was “disgusted” that a woman would a) wear “something like that” to a family pool and b) club management didn’t stop her. When I didn’t have much to say, she prompted me, implying that I should be especially offended since this woman’s butt cheeks were on display for my husband and sons to see. An almost identical situation played out last weekend at the beach. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I just do not care what others are wearing anywhere. I mean, the thong isn’t my style, but if that’s your thing, go for it.

I’m too busy doing my thang to be worried about your thong.

I’m here to soak up the sun and have fun with my family. What others wear has no impact on that. We are swimming, making sand castles, reapplying sunscreen constantly, making sure no one drowns… I can’t preoccupy myself with others’ choices of beach attire.

I’m not here to judge.

I’m not here to body shame or govern what is or is not appropriate. I am of the opinion that you should wear what makes you comfortable. If you can confidently slather your tush in SPF, go right ahead. You’re not bothering me. Even if your skin isn’t as smooth as a baby’s bottom and you have some stretch marks back there, I still don’t care.

Even if you’re a mom, it’s okay.

One of the scantily clad sandy bottoms belonged to a woman with kids in tow. This momma rocked a thong one-piece suit as she collected seashells with her kids. This means that not only did the entire beach see her tuchus, but her own kids did as well. I still don’t care. Everyone has butt cheeks. If you’re a momma comfortable displaying what your momma gave ya, it’s all good.

But what about my boys? And ::gasp:: my husband?

I don’t think my boys have ever noticed. If they have, they’ve never commented to me about it. If they were ever to ask, I’d simply respond that there are a zillion types of swim suits, and the thong is just another style. My boys are young now, but if they were ever ogling or gawking, I’d quickly put the onus on them to act appropriately and not be obnoxious. I’d like to think we are raising them to appreciate the body and be thankful for beauty but also to remember that what another person wears (or doesn’t wear) should never influence their behavior. As for my husband, well, he’s not blind. I’m not blind either. We both know who the attractive women and men are. Him being exposed to some stranger’s bare junk in the trunk is just that. He saw another woman’s bare derrière. Maybe he liked what he saw. Still, at the end of the day, he’s yelling at our kids for getting sandy after rinsing off for the umpteenth time and lugging our beach crap right there beside me.

So, sun’s out, buns out, ladies! Or not. Wear whatcha wanna.

Alyson Haggerty
Alyson lives in Metairie with her husband, Patrick, their two boys, and their Morkie, Beignet. After teaching for almost ten years, she left a career in education, earned her BSN, and now works as a pediatric emergency nurse. In her free time, Alyson enjoys flipping furniture, writing, dancing, and painting. She is always looking for a racquetball partner and loves streetcar rides and playing board games with her family. A good cook, she is constantly on a quest to answer the age-old question, “What’s for dinner?” but has thus far been unsuccessful.


    • Not at all. My husband has eyes. I know he sees, notices, and finds other women attractive. It’s okay for him to find other women sexy. At the end of the day, he’s coming home with me. As for my kids, they pick up on my energy. If I don’t make something a big deal, neither do they. With matters of the body and sexuality, we are open and all business with them. I think you’re confusing naïveté with security in my marriage and confidence in the way I parent my children.

      • Thank you Alyson , such beautiful thoughtful writing . I was thinking that thongs could lead to even more objectification of women and now I’m happy to follow your lead . Each to their own !!

  1. I wish I had this confidence .. living on the beach I am constantly feeling insecure as I notice by boyfriend seeing other women in thongs at the beach.. or when he drives out of his way to drive by the beach coming home from work just so he can see the women walking the village to and from the beach in their thongs. I find it hurtful. Yeah he still comes home but … he refuses to allow me to even wear a cheeky bikini because he said it makes me look whorish and then he goes out of his way to stare and look at other women and when I express insecurity over this he yells at me and calls me crazy, says I’m over reacting because he isn’t cheating.

  2. Taking a romantic late afternoon walk on the beach and a girl wearing a thong jumps in front of us walking the same direction. Pardon me if I’m not overjoyed with this.

  3. Raising sons to realize that the clothing or lack there of is not an invitation is the important outcome. I applaud the approach – do you think that a body covered in a one piece isn’t provocative? If you are insecure about what some else wears look insud3 yourself and stop projecting that on others. We don’t live in puritan times

    If you have a partner accusing you of being whorish over clothes, you have bigger issues

  4. As a male I wear thong underwear as well as thong swimwear. I see nothing wrong in wearing underwear/swimwear that makes you comfortable being yourself. I’d like to say people who judge live in a negative or jealous world because of some other person is more comfortable displaying a little more skin than you are, and for the record they aren’t running nude around the beach or pool. With this being said mind your own business and you’ll be surprised at how easy life will be for yourself or family.


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