Thong swim suits have been the trend the past few summers, and based on a couple of my recent experiences, it doesn’t look like that will be changing any time soon. And I’m fine with it.
We belong to a local swimming pool and encountered some women in thong bikinis recently. I was with my husband and 9- and 7-year-old boys. A woman near me in the pool remarked to me that she was “disgusted” that a woman would a) wear “something like that” to a family pool and b) club management didn’t stop her. When I didn’t have much to say, she prompted me, implying that I should be especially offended since this woman’s butt cheeks were on display for my husband and sons to see. An almost identical situation played out last weekend at the beach. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I just do not care what others are wearing anywhere. I mean, the thong isn’t my style, but if that’s your thing, go for it.
I’m too busy doing my thang to be worried about your thong.
I’m here to soak up the sun and have fun with my family. What others wear has no impact on that. We are swimming, making sand castles, reapplying sunscreen constantly, making sure no one drowns… I can’t preoccupy myself with others’ choices of beach attire.
I’m not here to judge.
I’m not here to body shame or govern what is or is not appropriate. I am of the opinion that you should wear what makes you comfortable. If you can confidently slather your tush in SPF, go right ahead. You’re not bothering me. Even if your skin isn’t as smooth as a baby’s bottom and you have some stretch marks back there, I still don’t care.
Even if you’re a mom, it’s okay.
One of the scantily clad sandy bottoms belonged to a woman with kids in tow. This momma rocked a thong one-piece suit as she collected seashells with her kids. This means that not only did the entire beach see her tuchus, but her own kids did as well. I still don’t care. Everyone has butt cheeks. If you’re a momma comfortable displaying what your momma gave ya, it’s all good.
But what about my boys? And ::gasp:: my husband?
I don’t think my boys have ever noticed. If they have, they’ve never commented to me about it. If they were ever to ask, I’d simply respond that there are a zillion types of swim suits, and the thong is just another style. My boys are young now, but if they were ever ogling or gawking, I’d quickly put the onus on them to act appropriately and not be obnoxious. I’d like to think we are raising them to appreciate the body and be thankful for beauty but also to remember that what another person wears (or doesn’t wear) should never influence their behavior. As for my husband, well, he’s not blind. I’m not blind either. We both know who the attractive women and men are. Him being exposed to some stranger’s bare junk in the trunk is just that. He saw another woman’s bare derrière. Maybe he liked what he saw. Still, at the end of the day, he’s yelling at our kids for getting sandy after rinsing off for the umpteenth time and lugging our beach crap right there beside me.
I think you are terribly naive as to the reaction of your sons and husband.
Not at all. My husband has eyes. I know he sees, notices, and finds other women attractive. It’s okay for him to find other women sexy. At the end of the day, he’s coming home with me. As for my kids, they pick up on my energy. If I don’t make something a big deal, neither do they. With matters of the body and sexuality, we are open and all business with them. I think you’re confusing naïveté with security in my marriage and confidence in the way I parent my children.
Thank you Alyson , such beautiful thoughtful writing . I was thinking that thongs could lead to even more objectification of women and now I’m happy to follow your lead . Each to their own !!
That is actually a really beautiful sentence and healthy. I love how much you respect and trust your husband and your sons. I think you are raising them right there’s nothing wrong with women wearing thongs or with men looking at them respectfully and I’m glad you have a great husband who loves you very much.
I agree.
I wish I had this confidence .. living on the beach I am constantly feeling insecure as I notice by boyfriend seeing other women in thongs at the beach.. or when he drives out of his way to drive by the beach coming home from work just so he can see the women walking the village to and from the beach in their thongs. I find it hurtful. Yeah he still comes home but … he refuses to allow me to even wear a cheeky bikini because he said it makes me look whorish and then he goes out of his way to stare and look at other women and when I express insecurity over this he yells at me and calls me crazy, says I’m over reacting because he isn’t cheating.
Your boyfriend is both hypocritical and controlling. He’s also insecure because he enjoys looking at other women in thong bikinis, but doesn’t want you to wear one. You may be in an abusive relationship.
You feel badly about this because for you this isn’t neutral. You’re being called names, demeaned, disrespected and controlled. As for his route home, if admiring other people’s bodies in an intentionally sought out way has been determined as fair and ok in both directions in your relationship, then this woul be fine. But this does not sound like your case. Instead, it’s hurting you and is likely a pattern of thinking you might find in other places in your relationship too.
If you want your buns out, get them out. Just get this guy out too.
Taking a romantic late afternoon walk on the beach and a girl wearing a thong jumps in front of us walking the same direction. Pardon me if I’m not overjoyed with this.
Raising sons to realize that the clothing or lack there of is not an invitation is the important outcome. I applaud the approach – do you think that a body covered in a one piece isn’t provocative? If you are insecure about what some else wears look insud3 yourself and stop projecting that on others. We don’t live in puritan times
If you have a partner accusing you of being whorish over clothes, you have bigger issues
As a male I wear thong underwear as well as thong swimwear. I see nothing wrong in wearing underwear/swimwear that makes you comfortable being yourself. I’d like to say people who judge live in a negative or jealous world because of some other person is more comfortable displaying a little more skin than you are, and for the record they aren’t running nude around the beach or pool. With this being said mind your own business and you’ll be surprised at how easy life will be for yourself or family.
So what’s the reason for a thong anyway? Is there a healthy reason to sun your buns that I’m not aware of? Does it feel that good?? I can only think of one reason and it’s not related to health. Oh, and by the way since your buns are on your backside, the only one who can see them is the rest of the world. ????
The reason is it’s much more comfortable and quick drying.
It screams look at me look at me! I have the power! Not to mention a shallow and insecure personality. That is not confidence, that is a false sense of affirmation. Yet bring it up to a man who is guilty we’re insecure or jealous. How about the ridiculous statement but I come home to you. Or that’s normal for a man. Come on poor excuse. It’s called I want my cake and eat too. Very Sad I will not see equality, respect, and the true sense of what being a woman really means. Certainly not to entitled men. When you’re blessed enough to find a man who doesn’t buy into it. In my opinion that’s a real man.