Recognizing the Mom in the Trenches This Mother’s Day
As we all know Mother’s Day is a special day created to honor mothers and all they do and represent. Growing up that day focused on my mom and grandmother, without forgetting my aunts and godmothers. As I aged and got married, celebrating my mother-in-law along with my mother became important. And perhaps the biggest evolvement of this day was when I became a mother, and the day was also about me for the first time. 
My becoming a mother opened the door to a tough personal question for me: Which mom is the most important on Mother’s Day?
Not to insinuate that any are unimportant, Mother’s Day rightfully celebrates and honors all mothers. But on this day, what I questioned was who gets celebrated. We only have so much time, gifts, flowers, calls and reservations to go around. How do I prioritize this? Do I celebrate myself? This question came up in a discussion with a stranger once and she gave an answers I will never forget. “The most significant tribute goes to the mom who is in the thick of mothering.”
So which mom is in the thick of mothering? Which one is knee deep in the thick of it? Well I think this rightfully varies. Maybe it’s the mom with a newborn who may be battling sleepless nights and creating a new normal. Often it’s the mom with young children juggling personalities and tantrums with a smile and grace. Maybe it’s the single parent who juggles responsibilities alone day in and day out without much of a break. Maybe it’s the mom of teens who struggles with embracing their independence and raising responsible teens in an uncertain world.
On Mother’s Day 2021 when I delivered my son a week early, I don’t think I told a single person Happy Mother’s Day that year. And my own mother was there to support me and cater to me, oblivious to the day meaning anything to her. I was the mom in the thick of it.
Last year on Mother’s Day, I spent it with a close friend grieving a loss. There were several mother’s there supporting her, our friend was our focus, not to share a celebration that day. She was the mom in the thick of it.
Maybe the focus isn’t on childrearing. Maybe the mom in the thick of it is dealing with hard times, whether it be financial difficulties, job stress or health issues. The mom who puts a brave face on everyday as she confronts her tough reality.
And honoring mom doesn’t have to mean gifts (although nice). Maybe it’s just a quick call or message to acknowledge the season of mothering they may be in and show them some appreciation. Maybe you can lend a hand or offer support in some way to lighten her load. So as you make your Mother’s Day plans, celebrate yourself and take a moment to think about which mother in your life is right in the thick of it and send her a little extra love.
