Are You My Last Baby?

You came into this world 2 long days past your due date. Were those my final days of carrying around another life inside me?

My labor with you was definitely not as long as your siblings, but in many ways it was harder. I felt so much more. I struggled through the pain. Was that the last time my body will triumph through childbirth?

Kissing feet that are as fat as they are long, are yours the last baby feet I will adore?

Is your sweet toothless grin the last one that will light up my day?

Zipping a freshly bathed squishy body in pajamas, will you be the last baby I hold in my arms and inhale deeply and savor that sweet baby smell?

I can imagine a time when we will go out to eat, and it’s not total chaos. A time when I don’t have to apologize to our server and everyone around us.

I can imagine a time when we take a vacation, and we all get to enjoy it and not worry about nap schedules and where did the toddler run off to now.

I can see nights in the future where I go to sleep, and my head doesn’t leave the pillow until an acceptable morning hour.

I can picture a time when everyone will simply get in and out of the car without it being a marathon event of car seat buckling and unbuckling.

I look forward to a time when we can leave the house for an outing without a full planning session and an arsenal of snacks in tow.

I await the days when someone won’t constantly need something from me; days when someone isn’t constantly hanging on me.

I imagine days ahead when the hours from 5-8PM aren’t so chaoctic. No one will be physically crying at all times, bath time won’t involve the entire bathroom getting totally soaked, and there won’t be negotiating over one more story.

My head knows that there has to be a last baby. These years, for better or worse, weren’t meant to last forever. But my heart wonders if you’re my last baby.

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Tara grew up all over south Louisiana and currently lives in Metairie with her husband Josh, and their 3 kids Dax, Dane and Delta. Tara is a buyer for a local food-service distribution company and Community Director for New Orleans Mom. During the week she can be found replying to emails, carpooling kids all around, giving out hugs and kisses, and looking forward to bedtime. Weekends are for family adventures, naps and cheering for LSU and the Saints. She loves trying new foods, travel, and she and her family love all things New Orleans, but especially Mardi Gras.

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