My iPhone14 has been metaphorically laid to rest.
My family and I went out to dinner after a long and hot day thanks to a leftover gift card we found while cleaning. After having a pretty nice day filled with running errands, painting, kiddie pools, movies during the thunderstorm, donut holes with our lunch, and taking naps on the couch, my husband and I didn’t have the energy to cook. That and the chicken we put out that morning from the freezer hadn’t quite thawed.
We got to the restaurant around 7:00 PM. It was a chain restaurant near the mall and you could tell they were having an off night. We needed to wait for the silverware to be rolled, they were out of crayons for the kids menus, and service took longer than usual. Nothing big, just little things. My work group message started going off, so I threw my phone in the diaper bag for the rest of the meal.
By the time our sweet waitress asked if we were ready for to-go boxes, it was nearly 9:00 PM. My two-year-old was losing it since it was nearly an hour past her bedtime. She wasn’t screaming or anything like that, just loopy: waving goodbye to every other restaurant goer; shrieking, “HI DADDY!” to any male that walked out of the restroom; taking off and putting on her shoes; and trying to sneak ice out of my “mommy drink that is only for grown ups.” I decided to start getting her buckled in the car with some calm music while my husband packed up the leftovers and took care of the bill with our son.
When we got to the car, I opened up my Spotify app and started playing some instrumental Bluey music. I noticed the backlight on my screen flickering a little. I turned off my screen and listened to the peaceful music with my daughter.
When the rest of my family got in the car, I unlocked my phone to pick some different music and my screen flickered a bit more. Then it turned bright green! I’d never seen anything like this before. We put the phone in rice when we got home, hoping for the best. In the morning, my phone would vibrate whenever I plugged it in, but the screen was completely black.
RIP iPhone14.
In the morning, I knew I needed to go to T-Mobile and get a new phone before we went out of town for the weekend. I really debated going full dumb phone. I looked up some Nokia Brick phones to see if they were compatible with my plan… they weren’t… but I did find an older model iPhone they had in stock that was $599 when paid in full. I decided I would drag the kids to the store with me once it opened, and make the hopefully quick switch. After all, what’s more 90s than getting dragged on boring errands with your mom?
My big plan was that I wanted my phone to actually be a phone.
Though I knew I needed an iPhone since my friends would absolutely lose it on me if our group texts changed from blue messages to green, I decided I would only download what I absolutely needed.
Unfortunately, I needed Instagram for work, but I didn’t download Netflix, Disney+, PBS Kids, or Bravo. I would have to watch my Below Deck episodes on the actual television after the kids went to sleep. I didn’t download SnapChat, Facebook or TikTok, and I didn’t download any of the news channels or the New York Times Games app.
Moms of the Past Did Not Struggle as Much to Be Present.
I definitely don’t think 90s moms had it any easier than the moms of today. That goes for any era of parenting. Motherhood is hard and although the challenges are different, there are still challenges regardless of what decade you are parenting in.
However, I do think the mothers of yesteryear were WAY less distracted. There’s no doubt that smart phones have had an effect on motherhood. Moms of the past weren’t available to their bosses or clients 24/7 and still expected to respond to emails within five hours after they were received. Parents of the past also wouldn’t get the urge to answer every little question that popped into their heads immediately by a quick search on their cell phone: “Whose voice is that in this children’s movie? What else have they been in? Who are they married to now?”
The question remained… was dumbing down my smart phone the key to enjoying motherhood and being more present? 100%… well, at least for our family.
Embracing the 90s Mom.
We started off our 90s summer working through our never ending cardboard hoards and made forts in the living room. We continued by painting stars for the 4th of July and lemons for a lemonade stand we are hoping to set up.
I dug out my old orange digital camera from high school and decided that I would document the summer that way. I’m actually pretty sure the reason my phone crapped out was due to a combination of getting caught in the afternoon thunderstorm and the heat index of over 110°F, so hopefully this would help my new phone last another 4+ years.
I moved my work computer to my husband’s office, which we are now dubbing “the computer room.” I pulled out my old GameBoy for the kids to use on our longer road trips, and I’m trying to figure out if I have enough music from high school and college on my iTunes to give my kids my old iPod Shuffle. I really doubt it though since most of the music in my iTunes Library includes timeless hits like, “Buy U a Drank,” “Low,” SexyBack,” “So What?” and many other works that are filtered out on my Spotify since they contain profanity.
Another 90s Summer Staple? Boredom.
Although we often look through the 90s with rose colored glasses, were they perfect? Not one bit. We were BORED AS HECK for a good portion of the summer. We didn’t have cable so during rainy days, we were stuck watching either Maury Povich, Price is Right, or Days of Our Lives. But out of that boredom came creativity: new art, imaginative play, made up games. We pulled out puzzles, played board games, learned how to play Rummy, and much more.
I think both kids and adults could use a little more boredom in their lives. This is a really cool scholarly article on the benefits of boredom.
I would never have chosen to lose all of my apps overnight, but this whole ordeal has helped me recognize that I do not have to carry the entire internet with me every minute of every day.
This summer, I want my kids to remember running through the sprinklers, melted snowballs dripping down their chins, hearing, “Let’s play outside!” and getting hosed off after playing in the dirt instead of remembering their mom scrolling through a random influencer’s highlight reel while we watched the billionth episode of Blippi (no shade to that man… Excavator and Garbage Truck will remain #1 hits in our house). I want my kids to remember the fun games they made up, like “Jumping Bean” which was really just an excuse for us to jump on the sofa when we were growing up.
I want them to have a summer that feels a little more like the one my siblings and I grew up with. More boredom. More imagination. More moments that never make it to social media… well, they might because I’m trying to write a series on 90s summer activities, but they won’t be uploaded until after the kids go to sleep and I’m in the “computer room.”
