5 Things I Want My Sons To Know Before They Become Men

Growing up, I always knew I wanted to have kids. I was born to be a mommy to at least two children, if not more. There was never a doubt in my mind that said children would be GIRLS. I dedicate much of my time to stereotypical “girl” activites and always imagined myself as the classic “girl mommy.” I go to sporting events, but only because I like the clothes and the food. The thought of raising boys never even crossed my mind. So imagine my surprise when I was blessed with not one, but two, stinky, daredevil boys!Christian

My eldest has an energy level that many mothers wish (curse) upon on their adult children as retribution for past transgressions. As for my youngest – dainty and frilly he is not. He’s not even two, and he’s already wearing 3T clothes and size 9 shoes. They roughhouse, get dirty, love their mommy and connect with their daddy in a way that I’ll never fully understand. All that being said, I LOVE IT! Clearly there is a reason we are not in charge of our own destiny. I could not imagine my life any other way. And let’s face it ladies: weekends in the fall just opened up for me! The boys will be spending quality time with their daddy while I get a little R&R at the spa or partake in a little retail therapy! I love the saying, “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your life’s plan.”

As it stands now, it seems like I’ve missed the boat on bows, sparkles and smocked dresses. Nonetheless, there are a few things I hope I’ll be able to instill in my boys before they become men. Besides the obvious cliches like “grown men can cry,” “treat your wife with the same respect you show your mother,” etc., here are some points I hope to instill deep in their boyish hearts.

5 Lessons For My Sons

First, never doubt love. I fell deeply in love with my husband the first time I ever laid eyes on him, and we’ve never separated for even a single day since that moment. I believe that family gives life purpose, and the happiest life goes to those who love truly and deeply. A real man opens his heart to his wife, and her to him. I hope they never settle for anything less.

Second, true fulfillment is not realized by who gets the most, but rather, who gives the most. I would be devastated to see my boys spend their prime years working their lives away trying to chase a dollar. Yes, I want them to be successful, but I hope they learn balance and moderation, too. I believe that people are at their best when they’re helping others, and I hope my boys learn the value of charity. Sons, in your darkest hour, you’ll find fulfillment and validation through true, selfless charity.

Third, I hope they leave the nest and explore the world. Amidst my own devastation and worry in seeing them go, I’ll be overwhelmingly PROUD to see them take a risk and be brave enough to explore the unknown. I hope that in their travels they develop a healthy perspective and world view that forces them to see beyond their own problems. They may not be able to afford the car they want, but I want them to truly understand their REAL plot in life. Once they’ve seen the world, I pray that they come back HOME.

Fourth, I hope that they find God. Not necessarily my God, nor the one I’ll be leading them to know, but their own. I can share my journey with them, but I hope that in their travels, they experience God and find their own relationship with Him, in whichever form they see fit. There is so much more that I want to add to this section, but I will refrain.

And last but not least, please, my children, always know that I love you, no matter what. I love you as you are and will love you no matter what you may become. I created you and there is nothing you can do or say that will ever change my love for you. Only when you have children of your own will you truly understand the depth of my love for you. I finally understand the meaning of the saying, “my pride and joy.”

What do you want your children to know before they’re grown?

AJ Fireman



  1. I always envisioned girls for myself, too. Instead, I have THREE boys and zero girls. LOL We won’t be having more children, so I am a boy mom forever. I didn’t always embrace it, but I cannot imagine my life any other way now. I am good at being a boy mom, I think.

    • Carla, I’ve considered trying once more, but I just know that I’ll end up with twin boys, maybe even triplets! HA! We shall see what’s in store for me and my family! I will be happy no matter what! In my opinion, we only THINK that we know what’s best for us. 🙂

      • Yeah, we don’t always have control and we can’t predict the future. It’s why I am against surgical sterilization. Technically, we could still have more children, but we don’t PLAN to have more and take precautions to prevent that. Of course, all of that is still not a guarantee! LOL My mom had a tubal when I was born. I was the 4th baby, but 1st girl. She had 3 boys for me and was SURE i would be a boy, too. Nope! She got her girl, but still had the tubal because she was DONE. Well, 11 years later, she got it reversed and a year later had my little sister 🙂 because of her experience, we won’t do anything surgical and would embrace another baby (regardless of gender, but know it would be a boy. hahahaha) should it happen despite efforts to prevent.

        • WOW! What a blessing! I’ve always referred to those as “Dessert Babies,” the last course is always the sweetest! 😉


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