FOMO :: Missing Out On The Typical New Orleans Catholic High School Experience
Author’s note :: I understand having a conversation about which tuition based school your child will attend is a conversation of privilege and I recognize that this is a very specific conversation that may not resonate with those who either cannot afford or choose not to pay for school.
When I moved here, people asked me, “Where did you go to school?” Not realizing people were talking about high school, my answer was The University of Southern Mississippi. I came from a city where there were 2 high schools and most people went to the same school, unless you attended the one private school that was in Hattiesburg at the time.
After years of living in New Orleans and making friends with other locals, I began to understand the Catholic high school culture in New Orleans. Of course, I heard the school names while I was at Southern Miss, but I did not quite grasp the importance of the school that you went to until being surrounded by it. Yard signs, billboards, bumper stickers, and all-important acceptance letters that are posted on social media every February. You are either a Jesuit family, Brother Martin family or Rummel family and most other schools are not as widely recognized.
My college friends, sorority and fraternity friends all attended these predominant schools and expressed their pride in the school they attended. This was unlike anything I had been exposed too. Once my husband and I started to have a family, my friends’ kiddos attended Catholic schools and had a future planned out at a Catholic high school. I would not be able to share that excitement or memories with them due to Brady’s diagnosis.
I am so proud of Brady and how far he has come, but I cannot help but be envious of that type of high school experience he is going to lack.
Brady is autistic and has severe ADHD. He attends St. Therese Academy, and we are enterally grateful for his school. We moved Brady to St. Therese Academy mid year last year to be able to feel safe, comfortable and succeed in an environment for exceptional kiddos. He feels at home and safe there and St. Therese gives him much needed confidence. But he will be missing out on the typical New Orleans Catholic school experience, and I have FOMO about it. I do understand and respect that those high school events are not vital to a child’s success and growth. I love my son just the way he is but a part of me is sad that he will not experience Jesuit football games or Brother Martin homecoming.
Does my son’s school have events? Yes! But will he attend? No. Along with autism and ADHD, Brady has social anxiety. It is very hard for him to attend functions, church or even birthday parties. Even if he attended those schools, he honestly probably would not go out of fear.
Is it wrong of me as a special needs parent to be envious of the typical New Orleans Catholic High Schooler? I am so proud of my son and I would never want to change him.
I am learning, as are all moms. Learning how to be a special needs mom to my neurodivergent son. I have found additional support, not only from St. Therese and their staff but also from the New Orleans Special Needs Group.
In the end, Brady is happy just the way he is. He does not feel like he is missing out. He is happy attending St. Therese and has really come a long way. He is slowly coming out of his shell. We are blessed to be able to afford to send him to his wonderful school but I am still hopefully that one day, he will set aside his social anxiety and attend a school function or church function. Until then … I will find ways to make him feel comfortable and enjoy the events he feels safe at.
