“No, I’m not okay!”
It was a random night of laying in bed and killing my hands with scrolling through Facebook then on to Instagram then back to Facebook and I got stuck watching video after video. Sounds familiar? I bet you do the same thing here and there, especially after a long day of thinking and/or taking care of everything and everyone around you.
It was one video in particular that motivated me to scream the words “I’M NOT OKAY!” Even princesses have bad days. It was the gorgeous Princess Meghan Markle. You know the video where she stated how motherhood is a struggle? Wait, how could a person who have access to everything and help be in this space of struggle. In my complete thoughts of ignorance, I felt completely sorry for her … and for me too. Sorry for her because of my judgment of her role as a mother having access to help in comparison to my role as a mother with no family close enough to help me with my kids. I felt sorry for myself because how dare I think that she had it any easier because she has access to more “things / supports” than me.
Motherhood is hard, period Yes! Meghan always looks put together with her sleek, flowy hair, beautiful dresses and let’s not even mention her style sense of shoes. Wait, but I’ve also been told I look like I have it together all the time. No matter what you look like on the outside, we are all feeling some kind of way in regard to motherhood whether good or bad. Motherhood (parenting) is tough.
The next day comes and here I am wasting time on Facebook again, and a friend has posted about her toddler and his tantrums. Now this is a friend who I personally think has it all together. Her post was long and filled with pain, thoughts of failure as a parent, and just the overall feeling of defeat. A simple text, “Are you okay? Because I am not okay and we can get through this together” made such an impact on her.
Too often I think my friends have it together from what I scroll though on social media: ALL THE POSITIVE, FEEL GOOD STUFF. What if, just what if our friends posted their struggles? How would our lives be changed? How would actually connecting in a struggle area impact your life?
I am surprised just how many of my friends are struggling to parent, but now after admitting my own struggles to them and allowing myself to embrace the struggle by saying “NO! I’M NOT OKAY,” our friendships have grown in a way of supporting each other through the ugly side of motherhood.
I dare you to admit you’re not okay and check on your friends who may look like they have it all together. Promise you, they don’t.