The Scam That Is Adulthood: This Is Not What I Signed Up For
According to Britannica.com, adulthood is defined as “the period in the human lifespan in which full physical and intellectual maturity is attained.” We are legally recognized as adults at the age of 18, while the “mature” part of our brain that aids in impulse control, decision making, and long-term planning comes in at age 25. By that logic, we are true adults by this age. I am now 37 years old, married with two daughters, employed, and with many other duties. I still feel like I have more growing up to do. There are times when I sit back, amazed that this is the adult I have become. Upon further reflection, I have come to realize that I bamboozled myself into a false sense of what this “being an adult” thing would and should be.
Being a kid, I couldn’t wait to be a grown-up, and I know I am not alone in that sentiment. I glamorized it to be a fantastical place of freedom. Adults can spend money on whatever they want, go wherever they want, do whatever they want, and be whoever they want. I saw what an adult meant through television shows like Living Single, A Different World, The Nanny, Full House, and later on Sex and the City. In these shows, I saw adults navigating life with friends in shared apartments and houses with their favorite people, living it up with parties and stylish clothes, and having the occasional bouts of drama. What I did not factor in was the reality of life and what it takes to have those things.
Being an adult is hard! As I get older, I try to recall the specific ideas of what I thought “adulting” would be, but this is not it. We have the responsibilities of bills and taxes, careers and employment, and taking care of ourselves and our families. Then add to that work/life balance, and trying to keep up with the ever-changing world. Adulthood is putting in the effort and drive to attain and maintain the things we want. There is no manual for this.
This is not to say that I wasn’t fully prepared. I feel my parents worked hard to make sure my sisters and I understood what it meant to be accountable and to be our best selves. To me, they just made it look easy. They always told me not to be in a rush to grow up, but it wasn’t until I got older that I truly figured out what they meant.
As I look at my children, I laugh at myself because I sound more and more like my parents every day when I tell them to enjoy the ease of being kids. I am determined to let them become the people they are meant to be while also making sure they don’t inherit their mother’s “head-in-the-clouds” idea of adulthood. After all, growing up will come soon enough – and trust me, there’s no reason to rush it.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. When you were a kid, what did you think adulthood would be like – and how different is it from today? If you could give your younger self one warning about adulthood, what would it be? Share your experience in the comments below!
