“In general, when I complain that I am having trouble taking care of everything, I would just like for people to acknowledge that motherhood is hard. I don’t always needs suggestions or solutions; I just need acknowledgment of my feelings.”
Moms Are Underpaid :: An Interactive Discussion {Plus WIN a Staycation!}
While parenting has always been a challenging endeavor, it is safe to say that the COVID-19 pandemic created numerous additional stressors for the modern family. Without much warning at all, and with no handbook on how to parent during a pandemic, parents were
abruptly given stay-at-home orders and forced to figure out how to effectively (or not so effectively) work from home while also juggling the demands of childcare, schoolwork and household responsibilities. Of course, this all occurred against the backdrop of a very scary time in history when anxiety and fear were ever present. No one knew how to do this, and everyone was quite literally guessing at the next right thing. “Motherhood, working, being a wife for me is definitely a build the ship while it sails adventure,” remarked one local mom.
As we slowly emerge from this unique period of time and return to some normalcy, it is clear that moms are carrying a lot of valid (and heavy) emotions and attempting to process the experience. In general, moms are reporting high levels of stress, remarking repeatedly that they feel burnt out, overwhelmed and quite frankly real tired of making decisions.
I’m so sick of making decisions. It was up to me to decide my family’s level of comfort with Covid restrictions, what to do about daycare, if we were socializing or not, etc. I make big decisions all day at work, and then every single decision at home falls on me too. My husband will literally ask me if he should open or close the blinds. It’s draining.
Another interesting dynamic that surfaced is the division of labor within the home when suddenly everyone was home all the time and the lines between work, home and daycare were blurred. As one mom shared, “With COVID, my husband’s full-time, higher-salary job obviously took precedent over mine, which made perfect sense, but left me feeling resentment that although we were both working from home, I was still the primary parent that had to drop everything for childcare.”
Join The Conversation
With all of these feelings in mind, we teamed up with our friends at the Building Us podcast to have a meaningful conversation about how parents are feeling post pandemic. We want to celebrate our amazing community of New Orleans moms while also acknowledging that the past year in particular has been exceedingly difficult. So pull up a chair and listen to our conversation … and then we’d love for you to join in, too!
Who Wants a Staycation?
In addition to facilitating this important conversation, we’d also love to spoil two lucky New Orleans moms at Mother’s Day this year … we want to hear from YOU.
To enter to win a staycation ::
- Please share what piece of this conversation stood out the most to you. What would you add to the conversation? What topics resonated with you? Please leave your thoughts in a comment on this post. There are no right or wrong answers as we learn motherhood together.
- After commenting, please provide your name and email below so that we can get in touch with you should you be one of the lucky staycation winners! You MUST complete both steps to be eligible to win a staycation as part of the New Orleans Mom & Building Us Podcast Mother’s Day tribute.
Thank you to the following local New Orleans area properties for partnering with us to spoil two lucky moms. We recognize that it has been a tough year, and just for being part of the conversation, you have a chance to win one of the following incredible prizes.
Higgins Hotel :: one night stay in a Studio Suite Plus AND a $25 dollar voucher for Rosie’s on the Roof {Restrictions – based on availability of rooms when reservation is requested; most weekends are high demand and may not have available dates. Certificate is valid for 6 months through the end of October 2021. Total Prize Value of $600}
Southern Hotel :: $300 gift certificate / property credit {2 blackout dates: August 21 and December 31. The rest will be subject to hotel availability. Winner may use the gift card however they’d like; $300 will cover 1 night on a weekend with a little bit left for a drink at the bar OR the winner could opt to use it during the week and maybe get 2 nights OR winner can spend it all in the bar!}
Great conversation. It really resonated me with. I love the value placed on all the thing moms does. It reminds me of the article that circulated some time ago about default parent. I’ve been reminding my girls recently about the fact that there are intact two parents in the house often and that the other parent is just as capable in decision making and helping.
Trying this again as I forgot to leave me comment #mombrain Being a mom/parent is a revolving door of multitasking. This conversation was exactly what I needed to hear at the right exact time. Lately, life has been a tug of war of time management. My husband Rey & I have two amazing kids 9 years apart. Alton our 14 year old, now in high school and Milah our now 6 year in primary school. We are always running all over the city between the baseball or football field and gymnastics. The question was laundry or dinner… My choice is a taxi. Can someone please drive this kids where they need to be.
What resonated most with me is “there is an actual conversation about what mothers are experiencing during this pandemic.” It validates the challenges we, as mothers, are grappling with during these unprecedented times. Hope this conversation is just the beginning for our invaluable mothers ????
Yes! So many decisions to make and so much to keep track of. I am exhausted after working full time and then having to take care of homework, dinner, and other household responsibilities. I find that as the weekends are getting busy again, my plate just keeps getting fuller and fuller.
A lot resonated with me. It was a good conversation. Seleigh’s comment about struggling with saying “I need help” versus your significant other knowing you should need help is a daily issue in our house. I also liked the idea of having family meetings to discuss changes, especially in these strange times.
Awesome!!! I love the entire article!!! Keep up the great work!
This part that stood out to me the MOST was, “With COVID, my husband’s full-time, higher-salary job obviously took precedent over mine, which made perfect sense, but left me feeling resentment that although we were both working from home, I was still the primary parent that had to drop everything for childcare.”
This was the experience for myself and a lot of my friends during Covid virtual learning last year. It was a huge additional stress on the working moms who also became teachers while our husband locked themselves in their offices from 8am to 5pm or later. And while I do agree for my family that it had to be this way, it was still a tough situation to deal with.
As a mom with a job where I have the luxury of getting off work at 3pm the house cleaning, dinner, and most child activities and appointments fall to me. Which again I am OK with because my husband gets off later and is the primary financial supporter. And while he does help when he can most childcare decisions are up to me from when to make all doctors appointments and check ups to what after school activities I choose that work with my schedule. We definitely have a good partnership but I do feel the weight of the decision making.
This part that stood out to me the MOST was, “With COVID, my husband’s full-time, higher-salary job obviously took precedent over mine, which made perfect sense, but left me feeling resentment that although we were both working from home, I was still the primary parent that had to drop everything for childcare.”
This was the experience for myself and a lot of my friends during Covid virtual learning last year. It was a huge additional stress on the working moms who also became teachers while our husband locked themselves in their offices from 8am to 5pm or later. And while I do agree for my family that it had to be this way, it was still a tough situation to deal with.
As a mom with a job where I have the luxury of getting off work at 3pm the house cleaning, dinner, and most child activity and appointments fall to me. Which again I am OK with because my husband gets off later and is the primary financial supporter. And while he does help when he can most childcare decisions are up to me from when to make all doctors appointments and check ups to what after school activities I choose that work with my schedule and what to feed my family every night.
This works for my family because my husband handles other responsibilities. But I do feel the weight of the decision making for my child. This was especially hard when we started making needed appointments during covid…. what was safe to do and what was not – from dentist to eye doctor. In the end I had to go with my gut on what I felt comfortable bringing him to and what I didn’t.
As much as I’m tired of making decisions it’s hard to relinquish control sometimes.
The thing that stood out most to me was the section about communicating with your partner what you need and the reminder to not take it as a personal attack. I feel like the topics covered from routine disruption to the laundry list of mom responsibilities are all valid points. I’d be curious to hear an older child’s point of view to be honest.