How sugar cookies taught me it’s okay to screw up
The other day I made a huge batch of sugar cookie dough. I have my week very carefully planned with specific items to do each day because everything hinges on the previous item getting done. I put the dough in the fridge to set overnight and the next day took it out to roll, cut and bake. The following day I would decorate and then present the cookies. Half of them were for an event with friends and the other half were my contribution toward a baby shower at work. In both cases, I volunteered to bring cookies.
In exactly ZERO cases it mattered.
I know this because that dough turned out sticky and completely unusable. I have no idea what I did to screw it up. Maybe I missed doubling one of the items or miscounted when I added the 10 cups of flour 1/2 cup at a time? No clue. What I DO know is that those cookies didn’t get made. I realized that in the days following there would be absolutely no time to re-do the dough, so I made an executive decision and didn’t even try. I didn’t stay up until 2am trying again like I would normally do. I didn’t even go to the store and buy pre-made cookies or dough. Instead, I continued on with my (self-inflicted) crazy life for the next few days.
The event went on. The baby shower was a success. The cookies weren’t missed. No one even noticed. Not even me! What is this craziness? Where was my anxiety surrounding my failure? Where was the jury convicting me of negligence?
I screwed up and the most beautiful thing happened; I realized I don’t have to be perfect. Food will be prepared for events. Costumes will get made. PTO will meet. All this will happen with or without me.