Seven Kinds of Direct Sales[Ladies]

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve noticed that the rise of direct sales and multi-level marketing has increased exponentially, especially among women. Some do it for fun, some do it to bring in extra money for their families, and some do it for the thrill of the sale. No matter what your feelings are on all of it, you’ve started to notice that each saleslady probably falls into one of these categories. 

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The Quiet Storm. You don’t see them coming, and then BAM. Six Facebook notifications that you’ve been added to groups and parties. You opt out, no problem. The next day, you see groups pop up in your newsfeed because they’ve added you back during their six-week-old’s 2AM feeding. You opt back out, thinking they’ll get the message, and then you see someone has tagged a photo of you on Instagram. Which is weird, because you’ve been in your pajamas binge watching Netflix and drinking an entire bottle of wine for the better part of the last 12 hours, so surely no one has posted any fun photos of you. Then you see it. An ad. For the stuff. Now you’re permanently associated with it until Instagram puts out an update that allows you to untag yourself. It’s a good thing you really like her, because otherwise that would be grounds for the unfollow button.

The Sneak Attack. They sucker you in using covert tactics, especially ones that revolve around food. Hey! We haven’t hung out in a while. Mind if I come over? or I’m having some gal pals over for wine on Sunday, want to come? I’ll have baked brie! You get there and there definitely is baked brie…..along with a shrine erected to a product and a schpiel. You feel betrayed and annoyed, but at least there’s cheese and alcohol.

The Diet Supplement Enthusiast. These ladies truly believe in the greater good of their product. And why shouldn’t they? They have the personal results (and the selfies) to prove it. Your friend used to take down an entire row of Oreos with you after a rough Tuesday at the office. Now she spends her time posting Instagrams of “Oreo shakes” and swears they taste the same. The shakes probably taste like lies, but you’re proud of her for working hard and looking good. You’re not sure if her constant pushing is her subliminally insinuating that you’ve put on some of that Oreo weight now that you’re not breastfeeding anymore but continue to eat like you are. But if she doesn’t let up soon, you’ll be forced to tell her about the explosive diarrhea you get when you consume the artificial sugars those supplements are laced with.

The Oblivious To The Flooded Market. Hey! I don’t know if you’ve heard about these things, but I just did. I think they’re great and I know you will too! Want some? I’m selling. Hey, um, yeah, I don’t have the money for them right now and they’re not really my thing, but if I hit the lotto you’re 119th on the list of people I know selling them that I will buy from, promise.

The I’m Pushy And I Own It. She doesn’t care what you think of her or her tactics. She’s gonna make that sale come hell or high water, annoyance or blockage. No fear, no shame. Eye on the prize, ladies. Eye. On. The. Prize.

The Spammer. You don’t know them, but they’ll find you and your private Instagram account and request to follow you … because darn it, it works.

The Nonchalant. You see in a newsfeed or group that a friend has started selling something. Time passes and you get no messages. Or maybe you get one. But just one. Hey, I’m selling this. I think it’s pretty cool, so if you’re interested I’d appreciate your business. Not for you? Cool. No pressure. Take care of those kids and I hope to see you soon! Personally, I dig this one.

It takes all kinds to make the sales world go round. Obviously, all of these ladies are effective with enough of their audience to be successful. Whatever their tactics and whatever your feelings are on those tactics, they’re doing it for the love of family and products they believe in. Cheers to that.

Lindsay is a native New Orleanian, displaced only by her years at Mississippi State, where she earned a B.S. in Wildlife and Fisheries and a minor in English. She came home shortly after Katrina, to work as a zookeeper and be a part of the rebuilding of her beloved city. She dragged her husband Drake, a Tennessee native, along with her. Their son Bennett joined the family in 2010, and in 2014 they welcomed identical twin girls, Genevieve and Kellen Clair. She now works full-time as an Environmental Scientist while working on her Master's and serving part-time as NOM’s resident Jill of All Trades. Powered by espresso, cake, and craft beer, her happy place is on a beach or in the woods. Need to identify a plant, tree, or animal? Lindsay’s a wealth of random knowledge. She loves to cook and sprinkle a little glitter on everything.


  1. My favorite is when they update their status on Facebook about how amazing said product is and there are 10 comments from other ladies about how much THEY love the product too and they’re so happy they tried it. If you Facebook stalk these women you’ll find that they sell the product too. Sneaky…


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