To my dear, sweet baby,
I have so very much I want to say to you in this moment. This crazy, unprecedented, historical moment that feels more like something out of a dystopian novel than real life.
Since most of Mommy and Daddy’s friends got to start their families before we did, most of their children are a lot older than you are. I see lots of mommies posting about how stressful it is trying to balance homeschooling while working from home and how they are struggling being cooped up in the house. I can definitely relate to some of that, but Daddy and I feel a little different about this whole situation because of one big reason:
You are an infant, a tiny little tub of love who relies on Daddy and me for EVERYTHING – food, shelter, affection, clean diapers, ”Mickey Mouse Clubhouse,” you name it. Although I know you must be missing your daycare peeps as much as they’re missing you, you are too little for real school so there are no online lesson plans for us to keep up with. You are too little to color in stained glass patterns in the driveway with sidewalk chalk. You are too little to ask us about “the virus” or to be curious about the things you overhear Daddy and I discussing.
You are too little to know that you are living through a part of history that will change this planet forever.
You are too little for a lot of things, but you are just right for so many others.
This time in your life is so amazing, little love. You are learning and growing and changing so much each day. Every single thing in your world is new to you, and being able to watch you discover your world is the greatest privilege Mommy and Daddy have ever had. Last week, you started to cut your first top tooth and you learned to sit up on your own! You are becoming increasingly more mobile though you aren’t quite crawling yet, but you will be any day now.
And Mommy and Daddy will be home with you when you do it.
How exciting is that? Mommy works full-time and Daddy does too (more than full-time most days), but because of the crazy pandemic that is happening across the world, our days are now spent at home with you. Because I have a great boss at work, I was luckier than a lot of mommies and got to spend the first three months of your life at home with you. But you’ve been in daycare now for more than half your life, and there have been a lot of “firsts” of yours that we’ve missed while we are apart during the day.
It is such a blessing to have this time at home with you to see you change before our eyes, to make priceless memories with you each and every day.
Before the quarantine, Daddy would leave at 4:45 AM and get home around 9:00 PM most nights. He usually had work on Saturdays too, so it felt like we were constantly living for Sundays. Ahh, Sunday! The one day of the week when it could be just us three. Sundays were busy, but … Sundays were blissful, too.
And now everyday feels like a Sunday!
Yes, sometimes it feels a little monotonous having the days all sort of run together, and working from home with a baby definitely has its challenging moments. But these past few weeks have been some of the happiest of my whole life. I LOVE our time together so very much that I wish I could freeze time.
But then I remember what is happening in the world and it feels almost selfish to want to stop time. So then my anxiety makes me want to fast forward so that I can know we all make it out of this okay.
I believe in my heart that we will get through this in one piece, but I worry because “through” still seems a long way off. There are so many more questions than answers these days, and there is so much information going around, it makes your head spin. But, just like every other difficult thing I’ve ever experienced, I know this won’t last forever.
And… neither will this time home alone with just the three of us.
It’s so hard to see the end of all of this right now, but I know what I do see: the deepest appreciation I have ever had for time and for togetherness.
And maybe even a tiny bit for “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.”