Why I Hate Talking on the Phone

Please do not be offended. It is nothing personal. I promise. Cross my heart. I would rather someone send me snail mail than call me to talk about mostly nothing.

I literally live on the phone. I work remotely at home and since I am virtual (and most of my team is) I “call in” to all meetings. My phone is on and next to me from 7:30 am – 5:00 pm. That is over 8 hours. So, forgive me, I don’t want to spend my off hours on the phone. Here are the many reasons:

  1. I love talking to my friends, family, and neighbors all the time, but in person. Social cues are an important aspect of life and you do not get that on the phone, unfortunately.

2. Another reason, and you will thank me later, is that when I am off of work I cannot give you my full attention. I have two kids, actually 3 if you count my husband. Once I am off work, my family wants my attention and I want to give it to them. If I am on the phone and my child needs to ask me a question, they will be answered and therefore I will need to cut off our conversation for a brief moment (which I have noticed irritates people – mostly those with no kids).

3. If you call and I don’t answer, it’s not because I am intentionally ignoring you (well, for the most part) – my phone LIVES ON SILENT. The world is overstimulating enough and hearing rings and dings will just send me over the edge.

4. Some people monopolize the entire conversation. I am always here for friends and family, but when every conversation includes me only saying “mm hmm” for an hour, that is not fun for me. If I can put the phone down, walk away and come back and you have not realized I was gone, you are probably someone I only text.

5. I am an efficient person – that could be seen as a positive attribute or a flaw, either way – I find most phone calls inefficient. The only analogy I can think of is “This is a meeting that could have been an email”…”This is a phone call that could have been a text message”.

6. My family knows now if they call and I don’t answer because I am either preoccupied with family or working, to text me that it is or is not an emergency. If I do not get a text, panic mode sets in and I will stop what I am doing when I see the missed call to call them back.

7. My parents are not huge technology fans. If I have a quick question or need to clarify something, I call my dad. He worked in corporate life for 40+ years and hates the phone just as much as me. When I need to touch base and just chat, I call my mom. She loves loves loves the phone. Her generation is not a huge fan of texting, so I always make an exception for my mom and dad. Well, because they gave birth to me and they are some of my favorite people on the planet.

8. This may be the biggest pet peeve I have with phone calls – it is the day of my wedding or the day of my child’s birthday party and I am getting phone calls about what time, where, directions, dress code, etc. Some may be ok with it, BUT PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME THE DAY OF AN IMPORTANT LIFE EVENT, with details you should have gotten before.

Text me. Email me. Send me a note via carrier pigeon. But if you can help it, please do not call me. (but for emergencies – duh, it’s fine!)

I hope I have people on my side with this! Comment below so I know I am not alone. What other reasons are there that I may have missed?

Erika Lockhart
My name is Erika Lockhart and I am married to my husband, Chris. We have two children - Zane (7) and Finnley (2). We also have one 4 – legged child - Nelson a mixed breed rescue and a tarantula named Twitch. I was born and raised in Harvey, LA but now live in Metairie. I am a full time employee for a healthcare consulting company where I lead the Primary Care Provider engagement efforts from my home office here in NOLA. My husband is the owner and director of Clockwork Performance - A strength and performance gym in Kenner, LA. Odd facts about me - I love watching Judge Judy, I want to be on jury duty as much as possible, I have an obsession with mayonnaise and my dream job is to be a private investigator!


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