When Your Kids Need More of You Than You Can Give
As I was browsing YouTube the other day, I remembered this podcast I listened too months ago. I decided to look it up just on a whim and the first episode that popped up on my television screen was titled “When Your Kids Need More of You Than You Can Give.” My attention was instantly drawn in as I slowly looked over my shoulder thinking to myself, “How did they know? I feel like that right now…HELP!”
Dr. Josh and Christi Straub are the curators and hosts of the Famous at Home podcast. I’d like to share some simple yet effective suggestions they mentioned in this particular episode. As a stay at home mother of six entering my 14th year, I find myself pouring from a half empty cup more often than I’d like to admit. This is no good for me or my family so I am constantly seeking ways to fill my cup as our family dynamics change with added children, activities, and fluctuating priorities. Here are some tips that I plan on incorporating and I hope you will find helpful as well:
- Know, as a mother, it is okay to feel that your own personal space is compromised because your child is requiring too much of you at any given moment … give yourself grace, regroup, and start fresh.
- Start with incremental steps, not drastic changes to get things back to equilibrium. Maybe take a walk and get some air or listen to a 2 minute mediation track to clear your mind.
- Establishing emotional safety is key. Parenting isn’t about perfection but thrives off of repair (i.e. forgiveness) and connection. If you over promised and weren’t able to follow through, acknowledge their presence (grab hand/touch shoulder) and speak words of assurance into their hearts. Children comprehend more than one might expect. Instead of them feeling as if they are our burdens to bear, hopefully reassurance would instill the fact that they are enough in times even when we don’t have more to offer.
- A child asking IS connection. Don’t allow a child’s bazillion questions to easily unnerve you. They may want MORE of what they already have and want more connection. They feel comfortable. This means that you’re already doing something right! A child’s withdrawal may be the time to be more concerned.
My oldest just turned 14 and I frequently have to initiate our in depth communication while my little ones will ramble and tell me every little detail about every little thing. “The days are long but the years are short” they say. As I see more gray hairs pop up I realize all the sayings from the elders are so true even though I gave little thought to them (and maybe even wrote some off) in the beginning.
My goal is to enjoy these fleeting moments but be sure my cup is full in the process. I can give the best version of myself only if I take care of myself.
The Famous at Home podcast can be found on YouTube and on the website.
