To the Younger Brother Gone Too Soon

Dear Xavier,

I cannot believe that you would have been 11 this year. It is even harder to believe that you’ve been gone for 8 years.

You were the sweetest baby. You loved music, especially Bruno Mars. You were always so happy in the face of so much adversity. Your strength was unmatched.

I remember the day you were born. You were a chunky baby with the most adorable round face.  I did not know you were not okay. They moved you to the NICU. I was pregnant standing over you, they had you under a light and you were holding onto my finger. I knew I would do ANYTHING for you.  We found out you needed to be moved to the children’s hospital.  I told them they couldn’t take you without Mom seeing you first. You hadn’t even met her yet.

The next few days were crazy. Dad and I bounced between both hospitals to see you and Mom. Everything after that seems like a blur. You had so many surgeries. So many doctors. So much time spent in that hospital.

I remember caring for you and Selena at the same time during one of your few stays at home. Those stays at home were seldom, but I remember them fondly. You brought so much light to my life.

I still struggle to understand why you had to leave us so soon. You were the first immediate family member I had ever lost. I shed so many tears. My life was dark in the years immediately following your departure. For many of those years, I blamed myself for your passing. I knew I would never be the same. I don’t really think you ever heal completely when you lose someone so close to you. You took a piece of me with you when you left this Earth.

I know I was down a bad path for a long time after you left. As the oldest child, all I ever wanted to be was a big sister that my siblings could be proud of, I hope that I am making you proud now

I know you are watching over all of us. I always wonder what you would be like.  I know you would be funny. How could you not be? Our parents are hilarious! Smart, sweet and so handsome. I know you would be all of those things.

I love you, my sweet baby brother. You’re amazing, just the way you are.


Vianca Price
Vianca is a very social Afro Latina, millennial mom, wife and grandma. She hails from a small town in Central Florida and landed in Southeast Louisiana purely by accident. She has lived a whirlwind life and is a very proud woman in long term recovery from drugs and alcohol. She and her husband, Will, currently reside in Ponchatoula with their youngest daughter, Selena (the mini) and their three dogs. Vianca enjoys all the wonderful events Louisiana living has to offer. She and her mini can usually be found at any number of local events, living their best lives. She is very passionate about health and wellness journeys, which led her to starting her own meal prep service, Keto Kween Vee. Her mission in life is to help others.


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