I can remember hearing about night nurses a few times before I became pregnant myself and thinking that it was a huge waste of money and wondering why these moms were outsourcing the raising of their own children. I also said that my living room would be an adult only space and you would NEVER find a toy in there … so obviously, I had A LOT to learn about parenthood.
I want to preface my post by saying that I know not everyone can afford a night nurse (also called infant care specialists), and that it is a luxury that is not accessible to all. But I also hope that you will see the crux of this post is that we aren’t meant to do it alone and however you can find help and find your village, find them and don’t feel guilty about it for one single minute.
I will never forget seeing two little babies on the sonogram for the first time and hearing two distinct heart beats. We had been praying and hoping and struggling for a miracle, and here we were preparing ourselves to welcome two. I was overjoyed but also realistic that as a first time mom, I was going to have my plate loaded. I was told time and again by people I know and complete strangers that I “wouldn’t even remember the first year of their lives because I would be so tired.” I heard stories of postpartum depression, and I was warned by many twin moms to have help in those first weeks as we adjusted from going from a family of two to a family of four.
It was late in my pregnancy when the anxiety hit, and I broached the subject with my wife. We contacted a night nurse that had been recommended to us by local moms, and we booked her for the minimum amount of time to get us through the first couple of weeks at home.
Our night nurse, Aja, would go on to stay with us for 10 weeks. We both say that Aja is the best thing to happen to our family. She left us with two rockstar sleepers and two wonderful eaters. She left us with a strong foundation for our marriage as we were able to get our feet under us as we began our new endeavor. She would spend the nights with us and answer our calls and text messages throughout the day (90% of those were from my wife!). It was like having a third member on our team in those first few months … a team member who had a wealth of experience and knowledge.
By the time Aja left, she had trained not only our babies, but most importantly, she transformed us as parents. I’m thankful to have had help and to have tackled this journey with someone who could make me a better and more present parent. Having help, whether it is someone you have hired or friends and family, does not make you a weaker or less committed parent. Use all of the resources available to you, because we can’t do this alone. We are not made to do this alone.