Take the Mom Break!
These days, more moms are open about the dual feeling of loving your children immensely and also feeling desperate for a break from someone asking for something 20 hours of the day. You all know the feeling I’m describing. Recently, I was able to spend the weekend away, and the after-effects of this trip confirmed two things: my kids can survive without me (something they are slowly learning) and I am a better mom if I can have a break to just be me for a day or two. The trip was fast-paced and jam-packed with activities, so it wasn’t exactly quiet camping or spa relaxation, but the benefits from this trip were immediately noticeable.
I was able to rest. Not necessarily rest in the traditional sense of getting more sleep and giving my body time to recoup from a crazy end of quarter as a teacher (I definitely didn’t get much sleep), but I did rest in the sense that I didn’t have to be on at all times of the day and didn’t have people needing something from me for 17 of the 18 awake hours in a day. Just the simple idea of not having to get other people ready in the morning or make meals for other people and being able to tend to my own needs when I had them was restful. I wasn’t spreading myself thin by giving more than I had to give, which is so common for us moms.
I was able to enjoy silence. On the plane ride there and back, I watched a movie on the screen on the seat in front of me. Both times, I watched movies I’ve never seen before. No one interrupted me. I didn’t have to pause the movie 12 times to answer a question or grab something for someone. Both times, someone commented on the fact that I was sitting there watching the movie without headphones and was instead reading the subtitles… willingly. It was so peaceful to enjoy the subtle noises of the plane while focusing all of my attention on only one thing at a time. I often leave the subtitles on when we watch things at home because it’s easier to process two things at once when only one of those things (my precious girls) involves noise. The most peaceful moments of the trip came from “reading” a movie on the plane, a kind of peaceful silence that is hard to come by when your kids are three and five.
I came back a better mom than I left. Nothing about this trip was educational to parenting. But when I came back and the few days immediately after, I was able to channel more into parenting than I was able to give before I left. Because I was recharged from the quiet, I was able to handle the chaos of Sunday night getting ready for school and the usual Monday morning crazy that often makes us the last person in the carpool line. I wasn’t stressed or overspent. I didn’t have a near panic attack when the oldest spilled her Cheerios while walking out the door and the youngest decided to have a total meltdown for her sister’s lost Cheerios. I was reminded that parenting is only sustainable when we set boundaries, and we articulate when we need a break and actually take care of ourselves by taking the break. My kids learned they can, in fact, ask Dad for things and that he makes chocolate milk the exact same way Mom does and that he is just as capable of reading a bedtime story as I am.
I had so much guilt leading up to this trip: should I really spend that much money on just myself, is it fair to leave my husband to hold down the fort again after a school conference and a family trip with my mom in the past few months, should I be taking advantage of a weekend without anything to grade to do fun activities with the kids instead of this trip with friends? I even felt guilty while we were gone when I was sharing fun stories of the trip with my husband as he recounted the usual chaos at home. But when I returned home and noticed that I didn’t want to cry at the end of a particularly hectic bedtime routine, I realized this “mom break” was exactly what I needed. In fact, I needed this break long before I actually took one. So if you’re on the fence about taking a break from being mom for a day or two, go for it. It will be good for both you and your family.
