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Smartphones & Social Media Should Come with a Warning Label :: My Review of The Anxious Generation
I was overjoyed to get my first phone on my 14th birthday. Tapping out those text messages and paying $2 for ring tones was absolutely thrilling. At 17, I got my first Facebook account and accessed it on my laptop. Instagram came along a bit later. I got a smartphone in college. As a millennial, I feel lucky and thankful that I did not have to navigate the world of social media or smartphone use as a child. Even as an adult, I am constantly having to put time limits on my social media apps and relearn my relationship with my phone by putting in healthy boundaries. Point being: it’s hard as an adult, I can’t even imagine navigating this as a kid. As parents, learning to navigate all of this ever changing technology can feel overwhelming, which is why I decided to pick up the book The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.
Something that resonated with me from The Anxious Generation is the concept of recalling items that are discovered to be dangerous or unhealthy. If a toy or sleeping tool or vehicle part gets recalled, we pay attention. We may panic a little, we get rid of said item, and we make a change. When smartphones and social media first came onto the scene circa 2010, we didn’t know that these things may have negative impacts for kids and teens. Maybe some parents had an inkling or a gut instinct, but if you look around, most parents. didn’t fully understand that it isn’t good for kids to have free, unlimited access to screens, video games, smartphones, and especially, to social media. Or if they did know, they didn’t know how to implement that in their kids’ lives. But now we do know and it’s time for a recall or at least a warning label.
This is what author Jonathan Haidt is arguing for in his book, The Anxious Generation. Now, full disclosure: my oldest child is 9 years old PLUS we homeschool, plus we limit screens pretty heavily, so I fully recognize that my bent all along was to agree with the majority of this book.
Here are the five things that most stuck with me from the book:
- The importance of a play based childhood rather than a phone based child. Haidt references one of my favorite quotes: “Play is the work of childhood.” And yet, “the great rewiring” as referenced in the book’s subtitle is that the current trend is children having less free play in the physical world and more phone/screen use. Free play for kids with other kids is essential to how they learn independence, navigate making decisions, and take risks, none of which can be substituted by a virtual experience. And all of which play a significant role in brain development and personal development as confident human beings.
2. MORE physical, real world independence / LESS internet independence. In the early 2000s, parents started giving their children less independence in the physical world (biking around the neighborhood, walking to the park etc…) and more independence online. Haidt argues that it should be the very opposite. In order to develop and mature, kids need to be able to safely exercise their independence in the world, while the internet should have firm and tight boundaries protecting kids from the endless amount of negative content available at the click of a button.
3. Preteen’s brains are particularly vulnerable to the negative aspects of social media and video game use. Haidt explains that early puberty is a period of rapid brain rewiring, second only to the first few years of life. He shares research about the increasing rates of mental illness in younger generations and how he believes that upward trend aligns with social media use. He also digs into the reality that kids and teens need real, embodied friendships beyond what the online world has to offer.
4. The essential piece of putting boundaries on my own phone use. It’s one thing to limit our kids’ online presence, but it’s another to set an example by limiting our own. When adults set the example of being on our phones at meals, picking up our phones in every spare moment, and being distracted rather than fully engaged in conversations, our kids see it, notice it, and honestly, why would they do anything differently? I have found myself analyzing my own phone use and making corrections where needed.
5. We have to be in this together. Haidt proposes four ways to move forward: no smartphones before high school, no social media before 16, phone-free schools, and far more unsupervised play and childhood independence.
A Few Criticisms:
After reading the book and after writing the first draft of this article, a friend sent me a podcast (language warning!) in which the hosts critique The Anxious Generation and Jonathan Haidt. I didn’t particularly like the tone of the podcast hosts and it was obvious that they both dislike Haidt based on his previous work, however, they had a couple of good points that got me thinking.
Some of Haidt’s research seems a bit weak, especially his emphasis on causation instead of correlation regarding teen mental health and social media use. This is something I plan to look into more in depth. His solutions seem oversimplified and reductive at points: while it’s true that many kids would benefit from less smartphone and social media use, many kids also need therapy and help for mental illness beyond “get off your phone and go outside.” He seems to be suggesting a magic bullet solution to an issue that is varied and complex. He also doesn’t give room for situations where a parent may intentionally decide their child needs access to a smartphone or to social media outside of his recommended parameters. Additionally, Haidt doesn’t acknowledge the positive aspects of social media and the ways that teens use it to build and keep up relationships with each other.
I personally felt that the majority of Haidt’s arguments and discussion are compelling and helpful to parents as we help our kids navigate the world of smartphones and social media. As technology continues to expand, we’ve got to expand the ways we care for our kids and sometimes that means going against the grain of what everyone else is doing. I hope you’ll join me in figuring this out the best we can!
