Hold your head high and be proud of what you’ve done.
You should be so proud of what great kids you have.
I am so proud to call you a friend.
We all have our moments of pride.
When I first found out that I would be writing for NOM, I was extremely proud of my achievement. I was so ready to share the news with everyone close to me. When my daughter was in cheerleading and her school team won national champions along with highest overall score, I was absolutely boasting with pride. I couldn’t wait to let everyone know that all of the blood, sweat, and tears (trust me there were A LOT of tears) had paid off. These are both what I would call healthy pride moments.
Healthy pride is something that can boost others’ morale. It can be an inspiration to people around you to realize that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. It shows that the time and effort you have put into something has led to an end success.
But, on the other side of the pride tribe, is a terrible little thing that I call my problem pride.
See, there have been times in my life when I have completely let my pride get in the way of a million different situations. Situations that are both physically and mentally exhausting. And trust me, these times are far from gone. I struggle with my pride more often than I would truly care to admit.
I have had to learn that IT IS OK to ask for help. I am FAAARRRRRRR from a super hero. I am human, I need help sometimes, anyone doing everything on there own is almost impossible. This was a HUGE struggle for me when my son was born. I was now a mom of 2 kids with a husband who works offshore and is gone for anywhere from 2-3 weeks at a time. My daughter was in school 5 days a week, she danced 2 nights a week, and because I needed one more thing to just pile on … I was also the room mom for her class.
I allowed my pride to become a problem. I was alone with the kids a majority of the time, totally overwhelmed, and exhausted … and yet I REFUSED to ask anyone for help. I allowed myself to become somewhat of a robot. I went through the daily motions and couldn’t even enjoy the little things in life.
My “I can handle it all” and “I’ve got it under control” attitude caused more harm than it did good. It became a defense mechanism that hid my personal anxieties, stress, and unhappiness.
It caused me to push people away, to lose opportunities to have special time aside for just me and my daughter, and to not give either of my kids the attention they not only wanted but also needed. This problem pride has caused broken relationships that I have held with people for longer than I can remember.
Every day I try to work on my problem pride. I try to remember that asking for help doesn’t make me weak. That admitting I’m wrong or sorry doesn’t make me or my opinion any less valuable. Forgiving someone over something that happened in the past actually shows I’m becoming more of an adult and maturing.
I’m NOT saying to not be proud of things you have worked hard for and achieved. But I AM saying if your pride is the one thing holding you from being able to take a happy full breath of life, try letting go of that pride and ask for the help, say you’re sorry, forgive the people who have wronged you. Because in the end, your problem pride is what is quite possibly one of the biggest things holding you from being the happy full of life person you could possibly be.