Protect Yourself From Workplace Pumping Stigma :: Yes, It Still Exists
If you have any intention on pumping when you return to work (even if you are undecided), be prepared to advocate for yourself and your baby. I would recommend talking to your HR director before you go out on leave to ensure a plan is in place for a clean, private space with a locking door when you return. If it is the right decision for your family to formula feed after the baby is born, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a quick email saying you no longer need the room. It is much easier to undo something planned than to have accommodations made at the last minute.
Though Louisiana has less protections than other states, by federal law you are still entitled to reasonable break time and a private space (other than a bathroom) to pump at work for one year. However, just because laws exist to protect your right to breastfeed does not always mean your company will follow those regulations without being forced to do so. It is a cost to them and they may not be willing to give up the productivity hours or make an adequate space for you. The law is on your side, do not be afraid to be assertive and stand up for what you need.
My daughter was born 5 weeks before my mom passed away from a brain tumor the doctors found when I was 39 weeks pregnant. When I had to go back to work from maternity leave, not only was I still reeling in hormones, but also in grief. Leaving her everyday, even in the loving arms of her great grandmother, sent me into PPD. The one way I knew to stay connected to her was to continue breastfeeding by pumping at work.
My HR director was beyond supportive, but the law firm had no empty rooms with locks. She set me up in a large storage closet, which was quiet and worked well for what I needed. I would put a sign on the door saying something like, “new mom working, please do not enter,” and put a chair under the door knob. One day, the handle began to move while I was pumping. I panic yelled, “Please wait!” But the chair lodged underneath it pushed back faster than I could stop the machine and cover myself. The head of a notoriously lecherous attorney popped itself in, and he walked nearly fully into the room before he acknowledged my presence, turned and walked back out, leaving me feeling exposed and embarrassed. Because of his position in the firm, I was too afraid to report anything. Had engineering installed a simple lock on the handle while I was on maternity leave, the incident could have been entirely avoided.
A short time later, the attorney group I worked under moved firms. The new company refused to offer me a space, saying they were not previously forewarned, and I resorted to putting a sign on my sliding frosted glass office door (with no lock) and crawling under my desk to pump. Needless to say, my supply dried up quickly.
By the time I had my son, the firm had made a room for pumping moms. There was a receptionist who had a baby about the same time as me. While I would pump for longer, she would go for more sessions throughout the day. I remember people asking me if she was taking advantage and pretending to pump because she took more “breaks.”
During this time I grew very ill with chronic mastitis and had a fever of over 100 for nearly six months. The doctor put me on FMLA, saying that I could stay home on the days I fell particularly ill as she recommended stopping pumping could put me in the hospital. I was pulling as much blood often as milk, going to ultrasounds and oncologists to rule out cancer, and having to have the infection drained with needles at the doctor’s office. In response, multiple executives told me I was not billing enough hours. They assigned more work and even gave me a new attorney not from my practice group. There was no space to heal, grace for my condition, and I was pressured to work more than before I had fallen ill. I fell into a deep depression, stopped showering, wore the same pants every day, and barely had the strength to brush my teeth. When my supply finally dried up, I had nothing left to give the company professionally.
I look back at my time as a new mom, and I wish I would have set up expectations with my HR department and held to boundaries for my mental and physical health, instead of being too intimidated to fight back when I was pressured. For me, it was impossible to be a productive employee when it meant feeling like I had to sacrifice the well-being of myself and my children to do so. I learned the hard way that no job is worth your health.
I took what I learned from my bad experiences pumping and applied it to setting boundaries with my employers when it comes to my children and also my own well-being. Years later and settled in a different field, I can tell you now by experience that it is absolutely possible to both be a career forward and driven woman while also being there for your kids in the ways that are important to you. If your current employer is unwilling to cooperate with your priorities, there is one out there who will value your work product enough to give you what you need to feel like you don’t have to sacrifice your parenting values to do your job well. They are certainly not mutually exclusive, and you deserve to feel safe to have the space to do both.
