Please Stop Comparing Your Dog to My Baby

I love dogs. I’ve had a dog in my life for as long as I can remember. I even had a Go Go my Walking Pup back when I was younger and I would proudly walk my robotic dog around the block.

In college, I was that girl who drove around with her dog in the car and even had clothes for him. We would head to pet shops together and I would even get him puppuccino the weekly. I even held birthday parties for my dogs as a child and even as an adult … yes, I adore dogs.

However, please don’t compare a dog to having a child. It’s not the same.

I’m the proud mother of three children and have had numerous dogs and believe me, they are not the same.

I remember as a child going to pick out a dog. My sisters and I would play with each one and give them snuggles and kisses. We would then debate each other before coming to an agreement on THE puppy that we would choose.

Oh man, if having a baby was that simple!

Let’s just talk about trying to conceive, miscarriages, pregnancy and then labor and delivery OR the months / years of waiting to adopt to get that adorable baby. So yeah, getting a puppy is much different than birthing or adopting a newborn baby.

You can watch my eye roll when I see someone say they are so exhausted because their dog was up all night. Wait … what? Yes, dogs can wake up in the middle of the night needing to go outside. However, it is no way near comparable to waking up to an inconsolable hysterically crying newborn. And let’s not even talking about waking up to have to breastfeed your baby or pump.

I’m sure you know someone who has had to give a pet away because sadly the pet wasn’t working out with their family. Yeah, you can’t do that with your new bundle of joy. A pooch can be listed on Craiglist, not so much with a baby. Parenthood is forever … or at least the next 18 to 21 years.

And those cute babies turn into rambunctious toddlers!

And those puppies? They grow up as well, but they need much much less attention. I just can’t leave my toddler at home in a kennel as I go off to Target. I can basically ignore my dog compared to my toddler. I can put my dog out every few hours, have his food and water out and well, that’s mostly it. Now my toddler? I can’t take my eyes off of him when he is awake. He is climbing, running and putting everything and anything in his mouth. The only break I get is when he is sleeping.

Let’s also talk about once those toddlers become young children. My dog can’t yell at me and talk back and challenge every little thing I say. However, my child can. Sure, Fido can bark and yap, but my child can scream so loud a neighbor could call CPS.

Another huge difference between your pooch and my child is vacationing. One can just call up a local kennel, board your favorite furry friend and head out of town. Oh man, if it was that easy for a child. Whether you leave your child with a family member or hired help while you vacation or bring them along with you on said vacation, neither option is easy or cheap. It simply can’t compare to showing up to a kennel with a bag of dog food in hand and medication.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am so happy to have had dogs in every aspect of my life.  They are truly a special part of our family.

But please, don’t compare your dog to a baby. It doesn’t even come close.

Love,

A Mother of 3 and dog owner to multiple dogs

Mary Olivio
Mary is a caffeine addicted boy mom to Noah, Liam and Luke. This “stay at home” mom can typically been found cruising in her minivan, jamming to Beyonce with a Starbucks in hand on her way to carpool or after school activities. Mary has been married to her high school sweetheart since 2007. She is a founder of Delivering Hope NOLA and the Vanessa Wolff Scholarship Fund at her Alma Mater. Mary is passionate in the local preemie community and has been heavily involved with the March of Dimes since her sons Liam and Luke were born premature.

19 COMMENTS

  1. First off, I cannot stand bitches like you who get super sensitive when it comes to this topic. No, a dog and a human aren’t the same. However they sure do have lots of similarities. When you have a newborn puppy, and you still have to watch over him to make sure he eats, That my friend is exhausting. When he is still a baby and is getting used to your home so cries for nights, that my friend is exhausting. Maybe you don’t wipe your dogs ass, but I sure as fuck do. I have a yorkie, he has hair, so I am most definitely going to make sure nothing is stuck there. I also wipe his paws before him getting on my bed. I buy him toys, as you would your child. I have a schedule, as you would for your child. He has vet appointments, like your child has doctors. You take those kids out to play at a park, I take mine to a dog park. see the similarities? I can go on and on. Some people who you find annoying when it comes to this topic might be dealing with infertility, ever thought of that? Those people will die for their dog, as you would for your kids. I think you’re ignorant af for attacking people who love just like you do. Now stfu and just take care of yours.

    • LOVE THIS. I’m pregnant with my first child but every time I look at my BABY corgi girl I can’t imagine I can’t love something else even more. Sure I’ll probably love my baby boy even more in the future, but for now, I LOVE my corgi and she’s my life. And I don’t think having a human child will change the way I love my dog.

    • First of all, thank you for writing this article. I can’t stress this enough. People should stop comparing anything with a baby. I can’t stand it. U can call your pet as your child. Just stop there . But don’t compare that with my baby. I lost my patience today when I heard someone comparing their pet to my baby. You do whatever you want with your pet, that’s your business.” I do not care”. But please stop the nonsense of trying to compare “it”with my baby.

    • No it is not exhausting. Clearly you have not had a child. There are no similarities. Just because you are deciding to invest yourself in this ridiculous way into a dog doesn’t make it like a baby to the rest of us and does not make it good for the animal. You don’t have to do any of these things, except for the vet appointments. I have had multiple dogs: they could sleep outside in regular weather, they didn’t have to be fed more than once a day, and no one needed to wipe their butts (Is this a joke???), and they certainly didn’t have a schedule. Some people would die for their dog, some people do all kinds of insane things and there are institutions for that. My dogs were useful, super fit from running along horses for hours on trail rides, and happy. I also studied sled dogs and they were also super healthy, well adjusted animals with a purpose They also slept outside with a rough shelter. I have known hunting dogs, same thing. If my dogs barked,, nothing a newspaper roll could not fix in 2-3 tries. It is actually fortunate that you probably are not contributing to the gene pool. You also need to bow out of collecting social security unless your dog is contributing because they are the same, right? And training an animal is just as hard as raising a contributing human being to society, right? .There was actually a chapter in one of James Herriot’s books that addressed how neurotic and unhappy your pet is. Yes, it is wagging its tail and giving you”kisses” (yuck, considering it just licked its butt despite your wiping it first, because dogs do that regardless), because it knows who feeds it, but if you happen to pass, it make take a few good chunks out of “Mommy” before you are discovered. Because it is a dog.

  2. First of all. I am not mother material. I can handle children for a small amount of time and then I need space away from them. I’ve never had that issue with a dog. I don’t want to be a mother to a human child. I never have nor will I ever. So the only child I will ever have is my fur-baby. If you don’t like the fact that I call my puppy my child, then that’s entirely on you. Live and let live.

    • You can call your dog God if you like. Don’t expect its rights or your obligations to keep it from being a nuisance to be altered in any way.

  3. The only comments I see here are not from senstive moms, but sensitive dog owners. As both a dog owner that has raised several puppies and a mom of a toddler – they are not comparable. Babies are MUCH harder. No contest. And until you’ve experienced both, I don’t think you really know the difference. I have no problem with people calling dogs their children, just when people say they feel like it would be the same as taking care of a child. It’s not.

  4. This is a pretty dramatic and self centered way of thinking, but if you want to go there, so will I.

    What if the woman talking about her dog is a person longing to be a mother? What if all she wants to do is add to the conversation when her friends are talking about diaper changes and play dates but can’t because she doesn’t have a child? What if she’s just trying to add to the convo to keep herself from sobbing from the reality that she won’t ever actually have first hand knowledge of those experiences? Should we ask you to stop mentioning your children in mixed conversation for the sake of those dog moms?

  5. To those that think her insight it petty.
    Make a Nation al Dog Mom/Dad Day.
    Do NOT use Mothers Day or Father’s Day. It is NOT the same.
    You have no idea what parenthood is h less you are actually raising another human to send out into the world. It’s beyond hard to ensure that you have cared for them, set solid foundations for them, and educated them.
    A parent spends their days constantly working about their children. We cry at newborn stage due to sleep deprivation, uncertainty, we cry when they’re toddlers because they are rarely on an even keel, we cry when they are finally school age because they are going out into the world and soich can hurt them (physically and emotionally), we cry when they are teenagers be upset it seems like that hate us, we cry when they go to college or move out. We don’t sleep when they are not under our roof for fear. We pay health insure ( a lot more expensive for a human), we pay foe groceries (healthy food foe Gans is not cheap), we pay $800 to $1000 for activities (sports, clubs, etc), we teach them to get behind a wheel of a vehicle (imagine allowing your dog to take your car as a 16 year old). We feed them numerous times a day, like cook those meals and then need to be healthy. We rip our hair out helping with homework all week, attending school meetings, going to practices or assemblies. Try being a single parent, it’s so much harder.
    There is so much more to being a parent, those are just the tip.
    You want to call yourself Mommy or Daddy to a pet, then do it.
    Tou think actual parents are petty for this opinion? Get in line with the teenagers because you obviously know it all.
    Just don’t honor yourself on Mother’s Day or Father’s day. Those are OUR days, not yours.

  6. So….adoptive parents aren’t really parents either then? Because they didn’t have to deal with the pregnancy? They might not have had to deal with the kid when it was actually a baby? Thats what this lady is saying? Wooooooow. Me and my fur babies will live a long happy life without her negativity. 😂 I have cared for my pets, trained them to be good members of society, I stay up with them when they are sick, I provide meals and water for them, I am responsible for their exercise. If I didn’t say “pets” would you not think I was talking about a kid? Rediculous. Its like having a really lazy teenager, I can leave them home alone but I have to provide all care for them, but I’ll never have to pay for their college or have them tell me that they hate me soooooo….who actually has it better here? 😂

    • Yes, adoptive parents are most definitely parents. Because they have a child. You own a dog.. No, no one thinks you are talking about a kid, no one, and you gave s couple of very good examples: you can leave them home alone for extended periods of time and you don’t have to worry about their future because they have none. You do have it better, so no need to challenge that and reproduce.

  7. I see many of these comments are misconstruing responsibilities vs feelings. I think all fur mamas understand the responsibilities of “raising” a dog vs a human are greater. However, the feelings, when you do not have a human child of your own, are arguably similar — I worry about her well-being, her aging, her likes/dislikes, her upset stomachs, her sleeping habits (recently entered early stage doggy dementia), her intolerance to food, her separation anxiety, or ability to interact with other dogs and humans safely— the list goes on and on. It’s true; once you have both, you may immediately see a delineation between the two, however, once you have both, you no longer have the perspective of a dedicated fur mama/dad that only has that fur baby to love and care for. Yes, you may have experienced it in the past, but your perspective changes the minute you enter in the other variable — human baby, whether you choose to admit it or not.

    So, while I understand how it may frustrate you and moreso if they’re comparing their fur baby to your baby, understand that simply put, you just have different perspectives. That “greatest love” you feel for your human baby, may be equivalent to the love they feel for their fur baby.

    • Right.
      Once you have children, all this crap about “fur babies ” disappears because at the end of the day, it a short trip to the pound if your dog was ever to bite your child, and you realize you would make that trip in an instant to protect your child from harm.

  8. Daishia nailed it on the head! No one (or almost no one?) who says a pet and child are the same is comparing the level of difficulty in raising them… we are are comparing the level of love and feelings! And also, pups respond and grow the more interaction they have, so a person who has both or said they ‘had dogs before’ obviously recalibrated their attention after having a baby and thus stops the constant attention/ growth of their pet. I talk to my doggos non stop- literally- when I am home. They are my best friends and got me through quarantine and every other difficult situation. They have understanding, emotion, and feelings equivalent to a 2-4 year old if given the proper attention (this has been proven) .

    And something to think about: did you love your baby for the first two years? When all they did was poop and cry? I bet you did! So why is loving a dog who one has raised to have an individual personality, and actually one much more developed than a baby/ toddler in the early stages thought of to not be as lovable as a human baby??? I can guarantee you that if you study the brain of a loving pet parent looking at their ‘child’ and a human parent looking at their child the love receptors would be exactly the same! People are not comparing the amount of time or energy you spend taking care of your baby to that of a dog, they are comparing the EMOTIONS. I could argue a dog has more soul in its little body and more to give a family than a human baby in those first few years. So please honor pet parents are keep your opinions just what they are- one sided, selfish, compassion-less opinions.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here