Onward and Upwards: Musings from Rock Bottom and Back 

Six Years.

It has been six years since my beautiful son, Drew suddenly passed away at 15.5 months old. How is that possible? How did time keep passing?

He was the axis upon which our world revolved. Our only child at the time. He was thriving and living his best little life and then on March 12, 2014 he was gone.

When my husband and I began our lives together, we never for a second imagined we would become one of those awful stories you hear about. In all fairness, no one does, until it happens to them. I long for the innocence we had on March 11, 2014. Most of all, I long to hold my beautiful son for one more second.

I am often asked a series of questions. How in the world did we make it? How did we find joy again? How do we still laugh so much when we have seen first hand how cruel life can be? How do we bear a burden so heavy? A burden that will never lift until we see our sweet baby again in heaven? How do we sleep at night?

There is no neat and tidy answer – there are no “10 steps to managing grief” that apply neatly to all situations. 

The only thing I can say is we have come this far by putting one foot in front of the other.

We did it by holding onto the moments of grace, however fleeting some of them may have been.

I personally talked about Drew, crying about my precious baby from one end of the Crescent City to another. Rarely could I hold those bad boys in. The tears just came out. I never regretted my spontaneous combustions of grief, because that is what I needed at the time. People saw me at therapy very often. If there had been a loyalty program, I would have been my therapists #1 customer.

Our neighbors brought us meals for weeks. Our priest took us by the hand. We were nudged forward by countless good people and friends who sat with us despite how hard it must have been. Some we still see, some we don’t. There is no way to thank those people enough, for doing what they could when they could.

We looked forward by carrying on Drew’s memory by founding Drew’s Tunes. A foundation dedicated to bring musical instruments to underserved children and supporting the work of the SUDC [Sudden Unexpected Death in Childhood] foundation. March is now SUDC Awareness Month, a national awareness campaign started by one of my best friends, in honor of Drew and all the children gone too soon.

So here we are, six years later and my husband and I can say something that once seemed impossible:  We will never get over the death of Drew, but we are ok.

I am still standing. I am here. I am in the game, I am not sitting on  sidelines. I know life is not fair, but also how precious it is.

The loss of Drew has changed everything about me and how I see the world, but it does not define me. I am more than my loss.

I am a wife to a man I love unwaveringly, in a marriage that survived the unimaginable. No marriage is perfect. Despite this, we laugh everyday.

I am a mother to 3 incredible children. Two of whom I can hold in my arms and one who lives in heaven. Emmaline came 13 months after her brother passed away. She is the epitome of sugar and spice. Joseph is the child we had given up on. He arrived in January 2019. He is like a toddling cherub unless you cut off his carbohydrate supply. We talk about Drew with his siblings. They play with his piano. We hug them and love them fiercely and resist the urge to put them in a bubble wrap.

I wanted to share this, not because I have it all figured out. I am pouring my heart out in this LOOONG post (that likely only my mother will finish) because I wanted to give hope to someone who feels hopeless for whatever reason.

It’s not easy, but what I have seen first hand is that no matter how dark things get, inexplicably a little light will get in and you will keep going. Lean on your faith. Lean on the love you have for those closest to you. I promise, slowly but surely, you can trudge forward. The scars will always be there, the grief will come and go, but you can find joy. Your loved ones gone too soon can still shine their light on the world, through the love you freely share with others.

J.K. Rowling said it best: ”Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

About Georgia Boswell

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Georgia Boswell hails from Minden, Louisiana, but she has been proud to call New Orleans home since 2004. Georgia received an undergraduate degree from Louisiana Tech and acquired a Masters in Hospitality and Tourism Management from UNO. She enjoys reading, traveling and sampling the many treasures New Orleans has to offer. Georgia has worked in medical sales for over 10 years and is thankful for the all the wonderful people her job has enabled her to meet.

Georgia met Devron during Mardi Gras 2007 and they officially became Team Boswell on May 23, 2009. They were blessed to welcome Drew Joseph Boswell into the world on November 27, 2012. Tragically Drew died in his sleep on March 12, 2014. His death was attributable to SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood).

Georgia and Devron, with the tireless support of many friends, started Drew’s Tunes for the two-fold purpose of providing musical instruments to children and to support the work of the SUDC Foundation. Since its inception, Drew’s Tunes, has donated thousands of instruments impacting the lives of local children.

Georgia is the Mother of three beautiful children Drew (forever 15 months old) Emmaline (4) and Joseph (1).  Devron and Georgia love telling Emmaline and Joseph all about their brother Drew. They look forward to carrying on Drew’s legacy of love and music as a family.

 

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