Your Fetch Is My Cringe
A recent New Orleans Mom post about sayings or actions on social media that irk the writer made me think about all the trends that make me feel the same way. So here is my take on the trends that I think are, as the kids say, cringe.
Now before I hurt anyone’s feelings or make y’all want to reclaim my suburban mom card, please know that I am 100000% wear / do / be whatever makes YOU happy and feel good and a huge middle finger to anyone that talks poorly about you because of any of the aforementioned. These are strictly opinions, just like in my opinion cilantro tastes like soap, so I dislike it, but I don’t dislike you or judge you for liking it.
Bag It Up
The neoprene tote. Y’all I literally cannot find one thing that makes me feel the need to run out and purchase one of these. First of all, they’re huge and they have no organization inside them. They make me feel like I am staring into a teenager’s room; there is just stuff everywhere. Okay MAYBE for a beach tote, because of the practicality of it: things with stay dry, the sand won’t stick to it, and I can pile my entire family’s life into it. But for daily use, that is a no for me, dog. Thank you to one of my work wives for modeling her entire look for me, all of which falls into my “thanks but no thanks category.” She’s trendy and looks good in everything she wears, even jogger scrubs and a neoprene tote.
Duck Duck Goose
That’s right the Golden Goose shoes. First of all, they look filthy plus they’re a pretty penny, and for those two things alone, they land on this list. I mean if I am going to spend $500+ on a pair of tennis shoes, they surely aren’t going to look like I dug them up from the backyard. Now the style is cute, and they match everything, but I cannot do the dirty shoe look.
Stick It to Car Stickers
The family unit stickers. I am not just talking about the traditional stick figures, but all of them: from Mickey-wearing figures to the Star Wars families. Not just family stickers but really most vinyl window stickers are a no for me (I admit I used to have some on a previous car, but no more). Some of the stickers adorning cars can actually be a safety issue. If you’re advertising your child’s name, what sports team they’re a part of and have a pretty routine weekly schedule, there is the possibility of someone gaining access to your child, whether it be direct contact or even just watching them at practice or a game. We should, for safety reasons, make our cars as non-descript as possible (obviously a license plate is unique, but that is harder to remember and identify than a sticker).
Now, school and krewe magnets are another story. We all know that what high school you went to is of utmost importance here in New Orleans. We want to show off that our kid got into our alma matter, but again you are advertising where your child is five days a week. As far as krewe magnets, I am guilty of this myself. So yes again, breaking my own advice of making my car non-descript.
**Baby / Special Needs person / Non-Verbal person / Pet on board signs get a pass because these are lifesaving in an emergency.**
You’re So Thirsty
I bet you think I am going to talk about taking selfies and going live, right … Well no, because those are all good in my book. I am talking about those massive water jugs people are lugging around with them. Yes, water is essential to your health. Yes, we all should be drinking more, but these things are insanely huge! Also by the time you finish it, that water has to be warm and taste like plastic. And my gosh, how do you not pee yourself all day long!?
Do You Have The Time?
This one will absolutely get me some hate. Apple watches. Again not for me, I have my phone with me nearly all the time and if I don’t, it is probably because I need a break from life for a bit. We are expected to be reachable at all times, and the Apple watch is just another extension of that. I find that people are more distracted by the watch than the phone. They are constantly looking down at the wrist while in conversations, in meetings, and at events, whereas their phone can be put away in a bag or a pocket, turned off, or on silent.
Of course, there are definitely pros to the Apple Watch as well: keeping track of heart rate and exercise to notifying a loved one of an emergency. However, for the most part, I just find them to be another distraction and way for people to connect at all times.
If It Makes You Happy
Like I said at the beginning of this post: this is strictly for fun, and absolutely not to be mean or offensive. We all have different tastes and styles and that is what keeps us from looking like Stepford wives. Trends come and go, and when they are here, they aren’t for everyone and that is okay! If it makes you happy and you feel comfortable wear it, tote it, stick it on your car, so long as it isn’t mean or hurting someone else, who cares what I or anyone else thinks.
I will be the first to admit that I know things I wear and use are the last things my friends would be purchasing, but they accept me because they like me as a person and not the clothes I wear, accessories I have, car that I drive or anything else. Isn’t that what we are constantly trying to teach our kids? Like the person for who they are, not what they do or don’t have.