Editor’s Note :: this post is written by a local mom, whose feelings explained below are 100% valid. Both New Orleans Mom and the author of this post know and empathize with those women who struggle to conceive and/or carry their children to term, and our hearts go out to them.
While sitting down one afternoon, dishes piled in the sink, laundry on the fifth load of the day, I had a thought pop into my head, “I regret having kids.” “No, you do not!” I reassured myself. The guilt that washed over me was heavy. There are so many women that want children and are unable to do so. Why am I being so selfish? I brushed it off and went on about my day.
Growing up, I was a pretty good kid. I followed the rules and did as I was told, not knowing I was allowed to have my own voice or opinion on things. I am sure it was the way I was raised that my opinions were not my own, but of my parents. Now as an adult, I look back and see all of the choices I would have made differently. Did I really think about what having children means? Did I grasp the understanding of all it entailed?
Motherhood is hard, and there are days when I am so overwhelmed that I just want to lock myself in a closet. Am I raising my children to be good and honest? Am I providing everything they need mentally and physically? Social media does not help in the matter, constantly seeing posts of my friend’s children doing all these activities, and my friends have the biggest smiles on their faces. They make it look so easy, so why is it so hard for me?
I love my children with every ounce of my being and would jump in front of a bus for them. My entire world revolves around them, they are loved. I do not feel I have to prove that to anyone. Sometimes the days are hard, long, and overwhelming. To all the moms on the struggle bus, please know you are not alone.
