May I Have Your Attention?

May I Have Your Attention?

Most families have more than one child which can make life…interesting. Some of us choose to have our kids close in age while others choose to have their kids far apart. I joke that we chose to have our kids six years apart since we were waiting for my oldest to learn to make himself a sandwich first. We needed him to have a little independence, which worked great for our family.

As chaotic as having multiple kids can be (and I admire all of you moms who have three or more), it can also be stressful making sure that we give each child individual attention. And let’s be honest, usually, our kids want all of mom’s attention!

So how do we make this all work on top of everything else we have on our plate?

Let them “Help”

My daughter likes to be involved in just about anything we do. She’s my shadow for sure. About a year ago, she was gifted a step stool that has been a game changer. She can now “help” me cook and wash dishes. Although we are doing the same chores I would have had to do anyway, she can be more involved and feels like it’s her time with me.

Let them Talk (even when it seems like it won’t end)

My son plays baseball and soccer. While my daughter is a trooper and tags along with us to every practice and game, I make sure she understands that we are there to watch Mason just like we take the time to watch her do what she loves at dance class. Afterward, I make sure to talk directly to my son with no interruptions, so he knows that I am proud of him and that I paid attention to him at the park.

Speaking of chatting, we have gotten into a routine each morning and in the afternoon that each child gets a few uninterrupted minutes each to tell me all about their day and what is going on. My oldest gets to go first and I give him time to tell me everything he has been dying to tell me all day! Then it’s my youngest child’s turn. Being that my oldest is 11, the almost 5-year-old generally takes more time to tell me everything. This uninterrupted time makes it easy to give my undivided attention to each child while also showing them I am interested in their experiences.

Be Silly with Them

My daughter loves to craft. We get monthly Koala Crates (thanks Grammy!) that she LOVES to do together. She knows when her yellow box is delivered by the mailman, it’s her turn to have some much-needed mommy time.

My son is a gamer. As much as it drives me insane, I make sure to ask him about his games and try to play them with him too (even if I don’t have a clue what I’m doing). It might not interest me but years from now he will remember the time spent together as he tried to explain how to use his VR to his mom.

When the weather is amazing, we really try to take advantage of our backyard and have some outside time. This may mean drawing with sidewalk chalk with my youngest or throwing a baseball in the yard with my oldest. Either way, each child gets my attention doing something they love.

Read with Them

When the day is done and we can’t keep our eyes open anymore, story time is our go-to. Some nights I just want to go to bed and skip the story but then I remember that babies don’t keep and one day, they won’t want me to read to them or do any of these activities with them. Some of our favorite books are listed below.

Soon they will want to go with their friends who are way cooler than their mom. My sidewalk chalk drawings won’t be so fun anymore and my baseball skills will seem terrible. They will want to read their own stories at night. When that time comes, I want to know that I made an effort to make their childhood experiences memorable and that even though there are two of them and one of me, I made every effort for each of them to feel seen and heard.

Devan Orellana
Devan was born and raised in Kenner, attended Archbishop Chapelle High School, and works at Tulane University. She married her soulmate in 2016 and they have two beautiful children together, Mason and McKinsey. She co-owns ASD Designs ( where she paints and crafts with two extraordinary women. She is also a Louisiana notary. When she isn’t at a dance class for her daughter or the baseball/soccer field for her son, she likes to read crime stories or just be with her family. Devan’s life is quite hectic with something always on the calendar, but she truly would not have it any other way!


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