I hate the word just.
I don’t mean the adjective for fairness, of course.
I mean the adverb as in, oh, just do this.
Often, it’s dismissive. It lacks empathy. It lacks awareness.
Just get a babysitter.
You just need some time away.
Just ask your parents for help.
Just let your husband watch them so you can go out.
Just make time.
Often, these statements come from a well-intentioned place.
Just hire someone if you don’t have the time.
Just get a new one.
Just stop breastfeeding.
Just put them in a stroller.
Just bring someone else with you.
Just get a new job.
Just work harder.
Just cut back.
Just don’t go.
Just stay home with them.
Any of this sound familiar?
I’m absolutely guilty of it myself, and I’m trying to be more aware of when and how that word leaves my mouth. I know how much it stings when I’m at the end of my rope and one of those statements gets thrown my way.
So before you just….use the word just….Think about what you’re saying and what the person you’re saying it to might need. To quote someone wise, people’s truths are THEIR truths. Your truths may be different, opposite even. Consider that someone may need to vent. Perhaps they’ve exhausted all other options. Instead of tossing out advice, lend an ear, or a hand, or extend a hug.
It just might be the exact thing they’ve needed all along.
Another one I hate to hear is “I’m just a mom”.