It’s that time again, and apparently, this is a reminder that still needs to be shared continuously, mind your business! I mean that nicely, but as firmly as possible.
I went to a holiday event this past weekend and 3 different people asked me if my husband and I are planning for another kid. Now, these are people we know and love, so I know they meant well. But each time it stung. It triggered me so deeply in a way I wasn’t prepared for. What these 3 people didn’t know, is that I suffered a pretty traumatic 2nd-trimester miscarriage this year, and I should have been delivering that baby they were asking about this month. Now with that context, it’s easier to understand why I’m team “please mind your business” right? These situations and conversations are just so deeply personal for everyone.
I know there are some people who feel like you should be able to ask these intimate questions of people you care about. Maybe. I like to think of it this way… if you don’t already know the answer, you probably aren’t close enough to ask. Those closest to me know whether we do or don’t plan to try for another baby.
We are curious people. I get it. There are couples I know that I am genuinely interested in if they plan to try for any kids or more kids. But because I know the weight of that question, I would never ask. It simply isn’t my business.
The holidays can be a tough time for anyone dealing with life’s challenges. So let’s try not to add to the silent burdens others may be carrying. This isn’t the time to ask about family planning, comment on weight gains, or question relationship statuses. Let’s enjoy the holidays, spend them as we prefer, and remember to mind our business when those personal topics arise.