Don’t Do It! Social Media Edition

I recently posted about some of the social media “sayings” that have irked my nerves for quite some time. Little did I know, I was not alone, and better yet, so many others had so many other examples.  With that, I decided to make a post.

This post is in no way meant to attack anyone, make fun of anyone, or disrespect anyone.  Please know this is meant to be in jest.  Honestly, if I went back through my own time hop which spans back to 2004, I have probably written some of these before.

1. I love you to the moon and back.  I love you is sufficient. No one thinks you don’t love them if you don’t add a distance.  I do have a caveat: My 5-year-old once told me I love you to Florida. I was ok with that because in his mind it takes forever to get to the beach. So it melted my heart.
2. I love doing this thing called life with you or…There is no one I’d rather do this crazy thing called life with. What if everything that was done was introduced with “this thing.” It would be odd and a little annoying. I need to go grab this thing called mail. I need to go pick up this thing called a child. Just say I love our life. The end.
3. A great time was had by all. Insert eye roll. How about ‘We all had a great time.’ Why are you trying to talk like you are in Macbeth?
4. Anything with EPIC in it.  Pretty self-explanatory I’d say.
5. So I did a thing…ok. Just get on with it. We all do things. Explain it.
6. Private prayer request— Please don’t ask questions or unspoken prayer requests.  This is almost attention-seeking honestly. Being cryptic on social media is an oxymoron. If you don’t want anyone to talk about it or ask then don’t post it.
7. We’ve had our ups and downs – translates to I have complained about you to tons of friends and on Facebook but I like you today so I want to convince everyone we are the best couple ever. 
8. Louder for those in the back. I sort of like this one actually. However, it’s overdone.  Just type in all caps.
9. Do your research – ok! Do yours too!
10. ….and go (for recommendations). Another one I’m guilty of but if you ask for recommendations you really don’t need to give the green light.
11. For going live: I just wanted to pop on …I’m going to wait for a few more people to join…A lot of you have asked…  So, start off differently.  Also, I don’t think anyone really asked you just needed content. If they asked, why didn’t you answer them directly?
12. #blessed. Another self-explanatory one.
13. This has my whole heart. Or now my heart is full.  Your heart wasn’t full with your first child? Your heart wasn’t full yesterday. What was missing?
14. Normally, I don’t post this type of thing… no one is keeping track of what you post. Get on with it.
15. Asking for a friend. Suuuuure. YOU are looking for a divorce lawyer. Don’t lie.
16. I love you big.  Just. Say. I. Love. You.
17. Happy <holiday> from our little family to yours.  You have 6 kids. That’s not a little family.

My hope for this post is that it will spark us all to think of some new ways to express feelings on social media.

Lagniappe that we could all live without seeing on social media…

1. Your vaccine card.
2. Selfies. Any kind of selfies. Gym selfies. Car selfies. All of it.
3. Your manicure where you are really trying to show off your diamonds, your Mercedes, and your Starbucks coffee.  I drive a Ford and make my own coffee and I’m proud of it.

Happy brainstorming.  Share your other social media pet peeves in the comments!