Dear Mommy,
I see you…on your phone…with littles in tow. Society sees you too. “Put your phone away!” they tell you — the mantra of Gen X parents, right? Judgey McJudgerson is rolling her eyes at you because your eyes aren’t on your child in this moment. You’re not acting in the manner that they deem good parenting. But little do they know, you are currently parenting. In fact, you’re a GREAT parent. You’ve learned to utilize technology to your advantage as a parent, and for that, I applaud you and encourage you to keep doing you!
They see a mother on her phone; I see a mother managing her family planning.
You may be looking through your phone while you’re with your little ones at the park, but really, you’re managing your family’s schedule. You just met another mommy at the park and are currently looking for an opportunity to schedule a play date on the shared family calendar. Your child just made a new friend, which you totally encouraged, and you also now have the opportunity to add to your dangerously small network of mom friends. Now, from an outsider’s perspective, you’re just on your phone, but you and I both know that being on your phone also means mommy needs to parent.
They see a mother on her phone; I see a mother being Santa Claus.
You and I are responsible for playing multiple roles at once, and technology has made it possible to be just as effective while also present. Gone are the days when parents need to wake up at the crack of dawn to stand in line for the latest Video Game release, concert tickets, or Back Friday deals. At the click of a button, you can play Santa, have it gift-wrapped, and still manage the homework at the kitchen table. You might be on your phone while in the presence of young ones, but when your oldest just expressed his desire for the latest Madden, and Christmas is right around the corner, you’re able to check that off Santa’s list ASAP rather than remembering to add it to your Excel Spreadsheet later that night only to schedule a sitter to go out to buy it next week sometime. I mean, sooo many birds were just killed with one stone here. Talk about efficient parenting!
They see a mother on her phone; I see a mother providing a livelihood for her family.
You are parenting in the age of influencers, my friend!!! So many of us make a living using our phones these days!! Social media has made it so easy for us to share our expertise with others in hopes we’ve helped someone else. Heck, look at the forum on which this very open letter is written! You no longer have to miss the big game because you have to work late! You can bring your work in your back pocket and STILL be present for your kids! How many times have parents in the past missed important moments of a child’s life over work?! Because you solely work from your phone, your child can still look up and see you in the stands even if you are vlogging from the bleachers! Technology has furnished your creativity gene, and you’re able to earn that paycheck and still be Mommy!
They see a mother on her phone; I see a mother capturing memories.
Your phone is out, but are you really ignoring your kids? Actually, you’re creating memories that will bring joyful tears to everyone’s eyes for years to come. Your parents and grandparents didn’t have this luxury when you were younger, so they might not understand, but you have once again utilized technology to your parenting advantage here. And, everyone will appreciate the photos and videos you’ve taken.
You might look like you’re “on your phone,” but you and I both know it takes a village even if that village comes in the form of a Contact list or Followers. Texting Grandma about the time and location of the play; seeking advice from a Child Therapist you follow on Instagram; Googling different types of rashes to see if what just appeared on your little’s arm is serious all qualify as good parenting in my eyes. So, have no shame when you’re out and about on your phone. For all any onlookers know, you’re really just parenting.
Best,
A Mommy {who typed this on her phone}
