Dear Math Homework:
We’ve been on this journey a few years now with A LOT of years to go. You’re not getting any easier to deal with. I don’t know what it is that makes you different from the others. I feel like we’ve talked about this before. And every time I think we’ve made some forward progress, reality smacks me five steps back. I don’t get it. Immediate shivers when I hear the words “Mom, I need help with math.”
NO ONE TOLD ME I would be reteaching myself math for a decade. I’m going to start preparing new moms for you at their baby shower. In ten years, you’re gonna need to know how to multiply fractions and everything you’ve ever learned in math but some of the methods are going be a little different (like regrouping) and just Godspeed. Out of nowhere on a Wednesday you will find yourself dividing decimals. And you will ask yourself,
How TF am I back here?
Every week you suck me back to a part of my life I thought was over. I guess the silver lining is my son thinks math homework is “good quality time together” and you know, I really love that for him. I genuinely do. But me on the other hand, I would love nothing more than to hurl myself across the room. You are one of the most draining things in my life. And I live with high-functioning anxiety.
I’ll be fair and admit the battle is not solely on you. Half the battle isn’t even the actual homework. It’s the sudden memory loss regarding basic addition. How bladders mysteriously shrink in size. Where did the hunger crisis come from? The enthusiasm to complete chores that should have been done hours ago. I have no memory of what sitting still looks like.
The bane of my existence.
I watch a lot of crime documentaries. I’m waiting for the episode about the mom who goes off the deep end and math homework is what sent her over the edge. I can see myself all comfy on my couch, drinking my cab, watching the downward spiral of this woman’s life, thinking about the therapy she needs, and BAM! The “I can relate” moment. I know that’s dramatic. But THAT is your effect on moms. We are exhausted of you.
I’M OVER IT, MATH HOMEWORK.
A mom that is ready for summer break and doesn’t want to math anymore