More than once I have seen the meme that reads, “Nobody is ever too busy; if they care they’ll make time.” Lately, I have also seen several blog posts floating around about how being a mom does not give you the right to be a bad friend.
I politely, but vehemently, disagree.
You see, being a mom has awakened me to many different areas of my brain I now utilize. I believe I use the areas of empathy, critical thinking, time management, and selective listening much more now than ever. My body has amazed me and shown me how little sleep I can actually require and yet still function like most of society. I can carry sixteen grocery bags on one arm, carry a sleeping child in the other, shut the door with my foot, all while holding a sippy cup in between my teeth (and of course doing all this while I have to pee!)
I would also argue being a mom has promoted the decline of certain abilities.
I have lost the ability to find things, to control my temper on any given day, and to utilize time management. I require an earlier bedtime than I ever imagined, actually like having to be confined to bed with a headache, and sometimes find myself crying sporadically in the middle of the day like a madwoman.
If you didn’t notice, time management is in both categories – for me it falls in the positive and negative categories of my life. Some days I am on top of time management and can balance 100,000 things like a well-oiled machine. Other days I am lucky to remember to wear matching shoes, take my kiddos to an appointment, text someone back, or even worse, do things like … bathe.
I write all of this to conclude with the statement “It’s not you, it’s me.” If I forget to respond to a text, it’s me. Feel free to text me again. If I cancel a play date, it isn’t you, it’s me. It isn’t that I don’t value our friendship, I truly do. I feel like I just looked up from the beginning of the school year and it is now March. My life seems to be zooming by and I have to remember to stop, look up, and savor a moment (or return a text). Let’s agree to always be open and understanding and let each other know if our feelings get hurt. I promise to do the same for you and stand beside you in this dynamic season of life.
That’s why most of my friends don’t have kids. I don’t have kids myself, and I often feel left out by mommy club friends. Always a few exceptions to the rule, however..