It’s Not You, It’s Me {A Promise of Friendship}

More than once I have seen the meme that reads, “Nobody is ever too busy; if they care they’ll make time.” Lately, I have also seen several blog posts floating around about how being a mom does not give you the right to be a bad friend.

I politely, but vehemently, disagree.

You see, being a mom has awakened me to many different areas of my brain I now utilize. I believe I use the areas of empathy, critical thinking, time management, and selective listening much more now than ever. My body has amazed me and shown me how little sleep I can actually require and yet still function like most of society. I can carry sixteen grocery bags on one arm, carry a sleeping child in the other, shut the door with my foot, all while holding a sippy cup in between my teeth (and of course doing all this while I  have to pee!)

I would also argue being a mom has promoted the decline of certain abilities.

friendshipI have lost the ability to find things, to control my temper on any given day, and to utilize time management. I require an earlier bedtime than I ever imagined, actually like having to be confined to bed with a headache, and sometimes find myself crying sporadically in the middle of the day like a madwoman.

If you didn’t notice, time management is in both categories – for me it falls in the positive and negative categories of my life. Some days I am on top of time management and can balance 100,000 things like a well-oiled machine. Other days I am lucky to remember to wear matching shoes, take my kiddos to an appointment, text someone back, or even worse, do things like … bathe.

I write all of this to conclude with the statement “It’s not you, it’s me.” If I forget to respond to a text, it’s me. Feel free to text me again. If I cancel a play date, it isn’t you, it’s me. It isn’t that I don’t value our friendship, I truly do. I feel like I just looked up from the beginning of the school year and it is now March. My life seems to be zooming by and I have to remember to stop, look up, and savor a moment (or return a text). Let’s agree to always be open and understanding and let each other know if our feelings get hurt. I promise to do the same for you and stand beside you in this dynamic season of life.

Otherwise please just always remember it’s not you, it’s me.


  1. That’s why most of my friends don’t have kids. I don’t have kids myself, and I often feel left out by mommy club friends. Always a few exceptions to the rule, however..


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