Dear Dream Job,
If someone would have told me 15 years ago I would be typing out this letter, I would have laughed in their face. Please don’t hate me, but we need to talk. Looking back on our time together, some of the best memories of my life are with you. You’ve been there with me through so much: marriage, kids, and family tragedies. You were always the stable rock I knew I could count on to always be there and provide for me. You’ve made me laugh; you’ve made me cry; you’ve kept me on the edge of my seat. You have been the constant in my life that gave me purpose. You were exactly what I have always wanted and more. But, what I thought I wanted – what I thought I needed – has now changed with motherhood. This season of life has thrown me for a loop and because of that, we need to take some time apart. Please believe me when I tell you that it’s not you; it’s me.
I need to work on me.
When I say it’s not you, I truly mean it. You did nothing wrong. The only thing you were guilty of was being too good to me. I was always so proud to claim you as my job. I genuinely looked forward to work every single week. Very few people can actually say that and mean it. I was one of the lucky ones. I just knew we would be together forever until retirement. But, as time went on, life just got harder. Kids entered the picture, and I never experienced this type of exhaustion, confusion, and debilitating mental load before. You were very patient and accepting with each new life crisis or change. You were so flexible and amenable to my needs. However, I’m not the same young, energetic, go-getter I once was in my 20s when we first met. I’m different now, and I need to take some time to figure out what kind of mother I am and can be to my family without any work-related distractions.
It’s just not enough.
I’m a mother now. There’s more to my life than work. I don’t have enough of me to go around anymore. Splitting my time between you and my kids is draining and quite frankly, just isn’t fair to my kids or even to you. I can’t be the effective worker you need me to be right now. Seeing you every day and not giving my all just leaves me feeling less than. This job was a two-way street and though you’ve been pulling your end, I just can’t keep up with you anymore, and I can’t keep doing that to you. It’s not right. You deserve someone who can give you 110%, and that’s just not me anymore right now. I’m sorry.
We had some good times.
But, I’ll always think of you fondly. I’ve learned so much from you. You’ve made me a better person and I can’t thank you enough for that. The many friendships and relationships I have developed through you will always hold a special place in my heart. I could never forget you. The last 15 years have been a dream come true for me. I have absolutely no regrets.
This hasn’t been easy for me. We were such a good fit for each other, but I can’t keep being selfish especially when there are others involved now. I owe it to myself and to my kids to take this time to focus on just being mom. You and I had a wonderful run, but it’s my kids’ turn to have dreams now; I’ve had the chance to live out mine. Thank you for the many life lessons and memories. Goodbye.
I hope we can still be friends.
Very good read because I literally left my working at home job for the exact same reason. My coworkers thought I was nuts and could not believe I was leaving such a job but I had too for me .
Thank you! It was such a tough decision, and I’m heartbroken, but at the end of the day, I’m happy with my decision to improve quality of life for my family and myself.