Today I sent you to school a little differently. In the Spring of first grade at 6.5 years old, we are starting you on medication to help you through your academic struggles. I won’t lie. I am so emotional about this for you; you are a great listener, you are an amazing friend and you are oh-so-smart but baby girl you are most definitely struggling.
I knew back in August before school began that something was going on and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I actually tried to hold you back in kindergarten. The teachers reassured me that you were definitely ready, but two months later they were asking questions. They were seeing the same things I saw a few months before. The inability to stay on task or recall information that I know you mastered or the constant random answers to math problems with no real effort towards computing a correct answer. Maybe it’s maturity, maybe it’s dyslexia, maybe you need some academic support, maybe it was the pandemic; I was constantly grasping at straws for answers.
We changed your seating arrangement, put you in a small reading group, had extra practice sheets, toured new schools, and new iPad games. We tried it all and then we had you evaluated. The evaluation showed you had ADHD and it was affecting the way you performed. We talked more with the psychologist and then your pediatrician and we decided to offer you support through medication. I researched, asked questions, prayed, and cried, but your dad and I are willing to put our fears aside to give you the best opportunity at success.
So here we are, on day one. We struggled this morning a bit to figure out the best method of taking the capsule. We packed you some extra snacks in case your appetite isn’t suppressed, we asked your teachers to share any observations and now I’m at my desk fighting back tears worrying about you. I apologize in advance if this first medication gives you terrible side effects and we end up trying a few. I apologize for asking a million questions before and after school today about how you felt and what happened in class. Just know Mommy loves you, I want the absolute best for you and I will move mountains to keep you from struggling unnecessarily.
Thank you for trusting Mom and being brave enough to try something new.
Love you always,
This resonates so much. Just started my 7 year old on ADHD medicine and the mom guilt and struggle with am I doing the right thing is real. This article makes me feel seen. Thanks for this.