Besties or Circle Friends: Lessons in Friendship

My daughter is very outgoing and gregarious. She’s also a typical second child in her big personality, comfort with people, and ability to make friends quickly. However, her knack for easy friendships has taken a turn lately.

You see, my inspiring high-communicator is also headstrong and bossy at times, which causes waves in the first-grade friend circle. Also, some pairs of friends seem to buddy up more frequently which leaves her out and tends to cause hurt feelings, annoyance, sadness, and too much drama for a weekday!

We had to have a heart-to-heart that highlighted a few life lessons on friendships. Not everyone will be your “best friend” and that’s ok! Some friends are just included in your larger circle of friends. That’s who they are to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Some best-friend-duos become less cozy as life moves on, and people tend to find other sets of friends throughout their school days. Some friends stick around a long, long time, and that’s great too!

But the bottom line is that we can’t get our feelings hurt when other kids want to be together often, even if that means you’re sometimes excluded. This is a hard lesson for a seven-year-old. I tried to explain tiers of friendships as best I could. Frankly, it can be hard for adults too.

My advice to my little fire-cracker was to be kind and to foster the friendships that came easily and naturally and to appreciate larger circles of friends for what they are: a great place to have fun, have group activities, and enjoy each other’s company.