Opened Hearts: A Birthmother’s Story

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAlone. Scared. Confused. Mad at God. Mad at myself. Mad at the world. This seems to be the general consensus that sums up the beginning of every adoption story for birth mothers. What in the world am I going to do?

The question whose answer becomes one of the most beautiful things in this world.

My name is Sara. I’m a brilliant, vivacious woman who always believed in being kind and loyal. However, I never believed in myself or the importance and consequences of making wise decisions. That’s how I ended up pregnant.

I knew, although glad I had a choice, that abortion was out of the question and became intrigued about the possibility of adoption. Unfortunately, the only information I had to go on about adoption was from Lifetime movies. So I turned to a friend who was very much involved in the State’s adoption and foster care program. He put me in touch with an organization who took their time to explain to me what I was wanting to know and helped me make one of the most awesome decisions I have ever made.

The best part about this agency was that they wholeheartedly supported open adoption and instilled this in potential adopting parents. I was becoming very comfortable with my decision and had been given three profiles of parents who were ready to adopt.Day 1 after birth 12.16 (12)

That’s when Kyle and Jennifer came into my life and found their place in my heart. Their profile was amazing. They were so open and honest about themselves. They did not create false pretenses and made me feel like I would want them to be MY parents. I knew from the moment I turned the last page in that profile that the child I was carrying was going to have the life it deserved with these beautiful people.

I cannot express the joy, comfort and relief I felt when I got to meet them and let them know that in a few short months they were going to be parents. From the day I learned their names in that profile they said they wanted an open adoption. I knew that’s what I wanted too.

Jennifer and Kyle have kept their promise on this. They have included me in my birth daughter’s life every step of  the way. They have always made me feel like I am part of their family and have NEVER made me feel like an outsider who did them a favor. I sometimes wonder how Jennifer can be so strong and share this special love that a mother has for their child with another woman, but then I realize that she loves me just as much and wants me to be a part of her life.

Lillie and Sara. Lillie's smiling for the cameraI continuously get text messages, emails and packages in the mail from Kyle and Jennifer. The neat thing is, I get text messages not only regarding my birth daughter, but ones asking about me and how I’m doing. This has made the adoption process between us so much easier because they always make me feel like I am a part of the family.

I understand that this is a very unique and special situation but it is not out of the question for other families. Each of us had a very important role to play in this adoption and none of our roles are finished. That’s what keeps us bonded and everything we do is for the benefit and well being for that precious little girl, Lillie, who was given a chance at life by me and is living the life she deserves by Kyle and Jennifer.

I love them. I love them for who they were before I knew them. I love them for who they are now. I love them for choosing an open adoption.


National Adoption Day I New Orleans Moms Blog




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